Show Me Fifty Times And I'll Believe You
by The Illustrious Crackpot
Summary: THEME CHALLENGE SET. There is no such thing as a "stock" relationship, as every connection between any two people is inherently unique. The relationships in Phineas and Ferb—platonic, romantic, or otherwise—are no different.
1. Perry And Doofenshmirtz

**Show Me Fifty Times And I'll Believe You**

(The Illustrious Crackpot)

_A/N: No, it's not a coincidence that this set of fifty-sentence (or, in my case, PARAGRAPH) theme challenges happens to be my fiftieth post on this website. ...Well, I guess it was TECHNICALLY a coincidence, since I started it a while ago to alleviate some nasty writer's block and only noticed then that I was coming up on fifty posts. Or whatever._

_Every single one of these chapters is a different theme set involving the relationships—platonic, romantic, open to interpretation unless the canon specifically states that it's one way or another—between the members of the lovely cast of _Phineas and Ferb_. Each theme set was built by yours truly through pulling fifty random words/phrases out of my trusty _The New Roget's Thesaurus In Dictionary Form_, circa 1978; admittedly, I did cheat a little with some of the word choices, but when variations on the term "homosexual" come up three times and the subject matter is an all-ages show, I think I can be forgiven for that._

_First on the list of pairings—again, platonic or romantic, it's up to the reader's interpretation—is the ever-lovable good guy Perry the Platypus and his hysterically eccentric nemesis Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Why them, and not Phineas and Ferb, the title characters of the show? Because, truth be told, as much as I love the boys, I love these guys more. And because the writer's block this was meant to cure had originally started because of a desperate desire to write for Perry and the Doof._

_Enough of my ramblings. Enjoy!_

**Love To Hate—Perry the Platypus and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz**

1. Get Down

Perry arched an eyebrow, then glanced sharply around the room, searching for a hidden trap or, at the very least, some other "Perry the Platypus" that the question might have been directed at. Because there was absolutely _no way_ that Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz had called him down to the dance floor without an ulterior motive—even _if_ the band was playing the Hokey Pokey.

2. Smoke

"_(Cough cough)_ C-curse yoooooou, Perry the Platy_(cough)_pus!"

3. Fruitful

Late at night, when he'd run out of other things to think about, Phineas would sometimes wonder just what Perry would do when he went missing. Well, clearly it was something good—he always returned with a sort of satisfied glow about him.

4. Reason

Sometimes, during battle, one of them would hit the other just a little harder than necessary. They'd _both_ done it many times, and in many different situations...but neither had ever really figured out _why_.

5. Actor

It was easy for Perry to switch from one persona to the other, transforming flawlessly from a mindless domestic animal into a sophisticated secret agent at the drop of a hat. But that just made it harder to figure out which was his true self and which was the façade.

6. Mean

By the time he realized his mistake, it was too late to call him back and make amends. Well, so he _had_ kind of meant it when he'd said that crusaders for justice were smelly pig-footed doo doo-heads...but he hadn't meant that that applied to _Perry_.

7. Ellipse

They were always running in circles, trying to catch the other while at the same time trying to escape him.

8. Offspring

"_**WHAT?!**_" Dr. Doofenshmirtz flailed his arms crazily at Vanessa, who merely smirked at the extreme reaction her idle comment had sparked. "ME...and _PERRY THE PLATYPUS??_ I mean, WHAT would the CHILDREN look like?!" ...A pause. "_DON'T ANSWER THAT!_"

9. Excerpt

No, he _didn't_ run screaming from the room—he dove under the table and curled up into a fetal position. He should've seen it coming, actually; it was a _villains'_ convention, after all, and he'd been _expecting_ someone to rob him at some point that evening. But never in a million years had he expected his _diary_ to fall into the hands of the MASTER OF CEREMONIES!

10. Teamwork

Neither wanted to be the first to acknowledge the help that the other had provided in the enterprise. So they both waited until the count of three to quickly reach out and shake the other's hand, making sure to keep the contact as stiff and brief as possible.

11. Chandelier

It wasn't exactly the best hiding place he'd ever thought of, Doofenshmirtz had to admit, but then again he also hadn't expected his ex-wife to show up while he was serving his enemy milk and cookies.

12. Horrible

Suddenly, in the middle of laughing maniacally and dangling the helpless platypus over the open mouth of a Weedwhacker-inator, the mad scientist was struck by an overwhelming wave of guilt. It didn't matter what he called it—revenge, removing an obstacle, _whatever_; when he really came down to it, he was simply bullying a small animal.

13. Engage

Occasionally, when Ms. Flynn took Perry with her to the grocery store, they would pass Dr. Doofenshmirtz in one of the aisles. And, regardless of whether or not the villain was doing anything particularly evil, the platypus was always hard-pressed not to jump up and start fighting with him right then and there.

14. Twitch

It didn't matter _how_ long ago it had been, _how_ brief it had lasted, or _how_ seldom they came into contact through their work or otherwise—Perry _still_ bristled every time he heard the name "Peter".

15. Monarch

Doofenshmirtz crossed his arms huffily, rolling his eyes. "Okay, _okay_, Perry the Platypus—jeez, you're so annoying, just shut _up_ already! When I take over the Tri-State Area, I'll make you...um...almighty overlord of the corner of Third Street and Main. _Happy?_"

16. Farsighted

"_Good work, Agent P,"_ Major Monogram had commended over the video-link after the platypus's first successful rookie mission. Then he had lapsed into silence, mulling over some private matter while Perry waited patiently for a continuation—and when next the Major had spoken, he'd unknowingly changed his subordinate's life forever. _"From now on, you're assigned to _ALL_ cases involving Doofenshmirtz."_

17. Prison

Odd as it was, Perry had never turned Dr. Doofenshmirtz over to any authorities, be they ordinary policemen or his own superiors, or tried to send him to any kind of jail. He just seemed content to deal with his enemy and leave it at that.

18. Sharpshooter

Well, the platypus was reflecting internally, cradling his punctured hat under his arm as he dodged more laser shots, even if done in the vaguest pantomime, it was _never_ a good idea to taunt Doofenshmirtz about his marksmanship.

19. Nonexistence

To everyone else, it wouldn't really matter if either disappeared. Charlene would forget, Vanessa would ignore, the Flynn-Fletchers would find themselves a new housepet, Major Monogram would recruit a new agent. Even if it was as nemeses, each was the only one in the world who truly needed the other.

20. Lax

"He's a platypus," Phineas remarked offhandedly. "They don't _do_ much."

Ferb shrugged in slight disagreement, tilting his head to the side. "They're one of the only mammals who lay eggs."

There was a small moment of silence, and then suddenly Phineas gasped. "Maybe _that's_ what he's been doing all this time..."

21. Endorse

For a long while Candace just sat there, staring blankly at the gently-snoring platypus curled up on the couch. She didn't know where he'd gotten it or what it meant, but he definitely had a baseball cap perched on top of his head, and its logo _definitely_ read "Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc.".

22. Sidelong

Heinz Doofenshmirtz was almost incapable of doing anything outright. He always had to take the long way around to something, use the harder route, scoff at those who were clear-thinking—ahem, "UNCREATIVE"—enough to do the obvious. So it always infuriated him that his defeat was so often caused by Perry simply pressing something's "off" button.

23. Attraction

They were total opposites, not in the same class and nowhere _near_ the same spectrum—good and evil, reserved and emotional, loved and ostracized. That was why they were drawn together so strongly, like the north and south poles of two magnets.

24. Judgment

"DON'T JUDGE ME!" the villain had once burst out in the middle of a lengthy rant, and though he'd said it in a rather silly context, the comment had taken Perry rather aback. That idea had simply never occurred to him.

25. Unrefined

It took some effort, but Doofenshmirtz managed to muffle his giggles long enough to spoon some melon chunks onto his plate. That _uncivilized_ Perry the Platypus—he was eating his _dessert_ with his SALAD fork!

26. Shake

The building was heaving violently with the impending explosion, and the rough motions of the floor knocked them into each other more than once. It wasn't so much the idea of being supported by his greatest enemy that caused each to recoil quite so sharply, but rather the strange uncomfortableness of the _touch_ when they had never before been in contact except to exchange blows.

27. Fallacy

Perry struggled fiercely to break free of the carrier crate, but Dr. Doofenshmirtz just kept his hand clamped over the door and continued grinning pleasantly at the receptionist. "Yes, I have _Foo-Foo_ here for _**HER**_ five-o'clock appointment. _**SHE'S**_ here to get a COMPLETE POODLE CUT—and make sure that the barber uses the _sharpest_ razor he can find!"

28. Look For

There were only so many locations in the room where the platypus could have been hiding, but he found a secret pleasure in the fact that the first place Doofenshmirtz looked was underneath a coffee mug.

29. Web

Doofenshmirtz started out nervous, then scared, then finally all-out paranoid when suddenly Perry the Platypus started thwarting every one of his evil plans before they'd even entered their initial stages. He never even stopped to consider that his nemesis might have discovered the "Schemes To Come" section of his VillainSpot blog.

30. Cast

"Well, of _course_ you have to sign it!" the mad scientist insisted in a half-whine, chucking a permanent marker at Perry and forcefully propping his leg up on a nearby chair. "It's _your_ fault I've got it anyway!"

31. Hostility

Oh, there was _definitely_ some hatred involved—there were only so many times an evil scientist could stand getting defeated by a champion of justice, and there were only so many times a champion of justice could stand being held prisoner by an evil scientist. Still, there were moments when none of that seemed to matter, and both could treat each other civilly without it being awkward.

32. Adverb

It was definitely one of the strangest plots Doofenshmirtz had ever come up with, regardless of _what_ traumas had befallen him in his flashback to grammar school. But still Perry managed to stop his nemesis before the adverb was permanently removed from the English language.

33. Furry

Platypus fur wasn't glossy and smooth, like a beaver's; the hairs were shorter, and the coat coarser. Even though it took a lot of begging and bribing on Doofenshmirtz's part before he was finally able to find that out firsthand, he'd had to do it before the curiosity killed him.

34. Disentangle

It took all afternoon to extricate themselves from the gargantuan spool of knotted twine, and the entire time Heinz was viciously berating Perry for getting them into that mess...even though _he_ had been the one to set up his ambush in the Doofenshmirtz Abandoned _Yarn Factory_.

35. Ointment

As painful as it all was, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was used to being crushed beneath falling buildings, getting himself blown up, and otherwise suffering severe injuries at the hands of his oh-so-crafty nemesis. Instead, what never failed to surprise him was that, when he managed to drag himself back home to the medicine cabinet, it seemed that he always found at least one more bottle of rubbing alcohol than he himself had put in there.

36. Rude

"...Forgive me for saying this, Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz began at length, turning to his companion at the bottom of the world-renowned Danville Manure Pit, "but how long has it been since you last _bathed?_"

37. Altruist

No one had ever expected him to be fully selfless, protecting the world (or at least just the Tri-State Area) simply for the sake of "doing good". Still, he couldn't help but think that, if he had never had this particular nemesis, he might have had a more noble reason for doing the work he did.

38. Long-Winded

Nearly an hour later, Perry finally gave in and rolled his eyes, wondering if Doofenshmirtz would _ever_ get to the point of his story.

39. The Best

It didn't matter if Perry was the best secret agent, or if Doofenshmirtz was the best villain. It just mattered that each thought the other was the best, since they would only allow themselves to be nemesis to the greatest foe there was.

40. Advice

Candace often used him as a sort of "study buddy", reciting her school lessons to him so she could better familiarize herself with their content. Perry had never really minded—until _tonight_, when she sighed, stared at her textbook and asked tiredly, "Perry, what would you do if you got Stockholm Syndrome?"

41. Concept

The very idea made him balk, shudder, and want to hold his head down under a running sink and wash his ears out with soap. But even so, Doofenshmirtz was forced to admit that his constant battles with Perry the Platypus made up some of the most enjoyable parts of his entire life.

42. Danger

Only once in his childhood had Heinz ever had a real, meaningful, heart-to-heart conversation with his mother, and that had been when she'd set him down on her lap to tell him about the dangers of the outside world. Even all these years later, he could still remember the entire lecture word-for-word—and had since realized that, strangely enough, she had never mentioned the menace of platypi.

43. Masses

They were far above the "common people". Not just because each had much loftier goals, or because their troubles were so much more momentous than those of the masses; mostly because they were currently on top of a blimp.

44. Talkative

"...You know, Perry the Platypus, you don't _talk_ much."

45. Discrimination

Until they suddenly showed up in the middle of a battle, neither Perry nor Doofenshmirtz had ever heard of any organization called "Parents Against Fedora-Wearing Platypeople". Though their existence was surprising in itself, what surprised Perry more was how readily his enemy forsook that advantageous situation in order to defend the platypus's honor against the crowd.

46. Put Back

When he had first removed his hat and placed it in its case, he'd thought that he would never be able to put it on again. But when his nemesis had lowered himself to his knees and delivered that speech...it didn't _matter_ that the entire situation had ended up being a trap. That hat, and that _persona_, had never felt more at home on him than they had at that moment.

47. Liar

"_Seriously_, Dad," Vanessa drawled, continuing to dangle the platypus-shaped "voodoo doll" out of her panicky father's reach, "just because you're an evil 'supergenius' doesn't mean you're any good at lying."

48. Spectator

Anyone who watched them fight would see only the animosity, the struggle between justice and the forces of evil. And they would never realize that _that_ was just the tip of the iceberg.

49. Uproot

Sometimes, when life was getting rougher than usual, Dr. Doofenshmirtz would begin to seriously contemplate moving out of Danville and setting up a new evil headquarters somewhere far away. But he knew that, no matter where he might choose to go, Perry the Platypus would find a way to follow—and vice-versa.

50. Disobedience

"_Agent P, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to go anywhere NEAR Doofenshmirtz's office building today,"_ the Major ordered one morning, just to see what the platypus would do. He was not disappointed—and he even won his bet with Karl.

**End**


	2. Phineas And Ferb

_A/N: Okay, first things first: I do NOT support Phineas and Ferb as a slash couple. This is due to a personal distaste for incest, and, before anyone points it out, I consider "incest" to apply to individuals who are raised as siblings, not just those who are blood-related; if the boys had met during their teen years or something, that'd be a different story, but for now, _no_._

_However, that doesn't mean that I'm going to bash or otherwise disrespect those who do ship them as a romantic couple, as I know that there are a lot of them out there and am even friends with some. And that doesn't mean that I don't adore their brotherly love; even if most of the "sibling dynamics" on the show are focused on Phineas and Candace, I still love how close Phineas and Ferb obviously are, especially when compared to my own brothers._

_(As well, just a forewarning: many of these themes communicate the idea that Ferb has a bit of an "obsession" with Phineas. I got this out of the fact that, on the show, he rarely interacts with anyone besides Phineas unless Phineas tells him to do so, and the few times he speaks during an episode, it's almost always to Phineas. For a bit more on this theory, check out my oneshot "Serendipity".)_

_And now..._

**Thick As Thieves—Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher**

1. Indivisible

While the two had clashed somewhat at their first meeting, one would never know it to look at them now; they're so joined at the hip that it's almost always a surprise to see one without the other.

2. Face

The cashier merely smiled at the redheaded boy's response and continued dropping bottles of whipped cream into the already-overflowing shopping cart. "Ahhh, it don't mattah. I like you face. You got an honest face. An' you brothah..." He blinked at the boy's silent companion for a moment, then went on, "Well, who can tell?"

3. Sparkle

"That was the first thing I noticed about you," Ferb murmured to himself with a smile just as soon as he was sure that Phineas had left the room. "You've always got a little sparkle in your eye."

4. Forbearing

Both boys had been known to each of their current parents as kind, loving, humanitarian little gentlemen. But still, their mother reflected as she was forced once again to walk past the hideous thing on her way to the kitchen, setting up an insect hospital for injured ants was going just one step too far.

5. Experience

Every day was one new adventure after the other, with thrills and excitement and heart-stopping wonder. But still, each knew that it could never have happened, nor felt so complete, without the other.

6. Blow

It was only one hit—a clean one, straight across the chin, done just as calmly as if his target had been a punching bag—and the green-haired boy just turned and walked away, not even waiting for Buford to hit the ground. All Phineas could do was _stare_ at him, too stunned to wonder whether the situation called for a lecture about violence as a negotiation tool or for a simple "thank you".

7. Natural

The sight was certainly bizarre, two boys wearing nothing but underpants and some leaf-fashioned togas frolicking about with the wildlife in the city park, but if anyone asked, they'd just reply that the day's mission was "to get in touch with nature".

8. Promise

"We'll be best buddies forever," said Phineas immediately, a bright grin shining across his face as he grasped Ferb's hand. "_I promise_."

9. Relapse

Ferb had never had much of a problem with cookies—except when he was very small, when he couldn't get enough of the sugary stuff. Now, though, watching Phineas ease open the lid to the sacred jar, smelling that holy fragrance once again...

Phineas nearly threw out his back trying to restrain him.

10. Opinion

Contrary to what some outsiders believed, Ferb wasn't Phineas's puppet; he enjoyed following along with his young stepbrother's plans because they were always on a much grander scale than his own, and were subsequently a lot more fun to implement. However, when Ferb had his own ideas about something, he never hesitated to speak up.

11. Advance

For every sly step the redheaded boy took forwards, his stepbrother took at least three shuffles backwards, but within moments they were both on the floor, rolling around and tickling each other and laughing like nothing else in the world mattered.

12. Support

Phineas teetered uncertainly on the bottommost rung, biting his lip as he looked over at Ferb holding the ladder steady beneath him. Then, without another moment's pause, he jumped back down, pushing his mildly confused stepbrother into the position he himself had only just vacated. "You've had to hold _me_ up enough times, Ferb. Now it's gonna be _my_ turn to support _you_."

13. Erroneous

No matter what the situation was calling for, Ferb's calculations were always absolutely perfect, never a zero out of place or a missing decimal point. In fact, Phineas had even thought his stepbrother incapable of human error until the day that he mistook a jar of jalapeño paste for peanut butter.

14. Violet

"...It's not much, I admit," the green-haired child began quietly and a little embarrassedly, holding out the flower, "but I couldn't think of anything else to give the boy who has everything."

15. Dentist

Dr. Hirano had been fine with allowing both boys to stay in the examination room at once, even though she personally thought that one of them should have been waiting outside. She was even fine with fielding questions from Phineas about the names of every piece of her equipment. But there was one thing she would _not_ do, and _that_ was to tell them where they could buy industrial-sized quantities of laughing gas.

16. Good

Whatever the circumstances, when asked if his stepbrother was "any good", Phineas would reply that Ferb wasn't "good", he was "awesome". When asked the same question about Phineas, Ferb would unerringly answer that Phineas wasn't "good", he was "the most incredible person on the face of the planet".

17. Thickened

"Well _this_ is one heck of a sticky widget. ...Ferb, is there anything in that cookbook about how to remove oneself from two tons of hardened cake mix?"

18. Cloudburst

As the cloudless sky suddenly opened up to drop a torrent of rain on the city of Danville, the only thing that the suddenly-soaking boys could think was that this would certainly put a damper on their "fry an egg on the sidewalk" experiment.

19. Dominate

Ferb never seemed resentful about Phineas's control over both of their daily lives, even though the younger boy had constantly urged him to speak up if such was the case. And although Ferb had continuously insisted that he was perfectly content under his stepbrother's leadership, and although Phineas _did_ enjoy being that leader, still there were times when he just didn't know if it was right to allow things to continue that way.

20. Bridge

"...Well," Isabella began, letting out a deep breath, "you've gotta give 'em credit for being the first people to actually _legally_ buy the Brooklyn Bridge."

21. Finance

One never referred to the money funding their exploits, or even just their weekly allowances, as "Phineas's money" or "Ferb's money". It was always "the boys' money".

22. Putrid

As his stepbrother marched straight into the room with a very pungent skunk under his arm, Ferb began to wonder once again how Phineas could possibly own such an enormous nose and _still_ have such a horrible sense of smell.

23. Grow

To the world at large, Phineas acted proud of every inch he gained, joking about how he'd soon be towering over everyone he knew. Secretly, though, he was always worried that someday he'd end up growing taller than Ferb, and some small, undefinable part of their lives would end up irretrievably lost in the process.

24. Slate

Ferb might have been quiet, but he had a great sense of humor; Phineas was always excited to look over their list of prospective plans in the morning just to find the fake silly ones Ferb had added during the night, like "shaving pitbulls underwater" or "finding the cure for stupidity". And he'd laugh uproariously, and slap his brother on the back, and laugh some more—and then they'd go do them all.

25. China

Other children would try the old ploy of "digging to China" as a means to escape some chore or punishment. Phineas and Ferb, on the other hand, would do it just because their mother was running low on rice.

26. Pleasure

"It's really funny, all the interests we have in common," Phineas remarked, winding up to toss another pitch. Ferb just nodded, tightening his grip on the bat and forcing himself to forget just how much he hated baseball.

27. Worthwhile

It wasn't as if their daily adventures were _easy_ to put together; first there was the decision of which plan to go with that day, then pinning down all the details, drawing blueprints, finding resources, dodging Candace—they weren't concerned about her telling their mother, but she _was_ a nuisance to work around sometimes—and then putting it all together...but no matter how hard it might get, one look at the other's tired but radiant smile and it was all worthwhile.

28. Knowledge

They both worked with opposite sides of their brains; Phineas was creative to a fault, and Ferb had just the technical know-how to make it all work.

29. Society

Nearly everybody in Danville knew the name of "Phineas Flynn"—and, to a lesser extent, "Ferb Fletcher"—because of the widely public scope of their exploits. Sure, it had its advantages, especially if they ever needed any kinds of references, but it got tiring to constantly have random passersby come up to them and ask if they were indeed those very boys.

30. Noble

It didn't matter that Phineas had only complained once about his leg hurting, or that it had just been normal muscle soreness rather than anything more serious; without a moment's hesitation, Ferb had swept the boy into his arms and carried him all the way back to the school nurse's office, not even stopping to ask for permission to do so.

31. Regret

On a quiet night, when tender wounds could be prodded without fear of pain, Phineas lay on his bed and whispered, "D'you have any regrets? ...You know, about your..._real_ mom?"

"...Only," Ferb replied at length, in so low a voice that at first Phineas didn't realize that he'd spoken, "that she never met you."

32. Burden

It would never be when the other was looking, but sometimes one would bite his lip, or clench his fists, battling with some secret inner demons that only the victim himself could ever really understand. But they would flash smiles at each other, pretending that no such problems existed, if only so the other would have no cause to worry.

33. Predilection

Because they could never quite agree on which flavor of ice cream was the best—Phineas was devoted wholeheartedly to chocolate while Ferb was vanilla's staunchest defender—eventually they just had to set up a nationwide game show to poll thousands upon thousands of people about their favorite ice creams. The unanimously-voted best flavor? _Strawberry_.

34. Divorce

Even though Linda Flynn and Lawrence Fletcher seemed happier together even than they had with their respective first spouses, both boys could never fully escape nightmares about their family splitting apart again. So if Phineas ever needed to crawl into Ferb's bed late at night, or if Ferb ever needed to wrap Phineas in a long embrace, they each knew the cause and said nothing.

35. Half-wit

As anybody could tell you, Phineas Flynn was extremely easygoing, and rarely (if ever) raised his voice or fists in anger. In fact, the only way to make him mad would be to imply that Ferb's seeming-muteness was due to a mental deficiency—and then it would seem ridiculous that anyone had ever said that Phineas was a nice boy.

36. Eliminate

Some days there were just too many good ideas for them to choose what exactly they wanted to do, or even just too many for them to even want to _think_ about it. On days like those, they just calmly swept their entire pile of "plans of action" into the recycling bin, sat down, bounced off a few new possibilities, and made a fresh start of it.

37. Speculate

Ferb was content to have the world as it was, all neat and ordered in his mind. It was Phineas who was constantly coming up with new ideas, seeking out new things and delighting in all of them—although he'd never say as much aloud, Ferb was a little jealous of him for it.

38. Swamp

Of course, the local Marshjeff Swamp was completely overrun by waist-deep muck, the world's grimiest freshwater, several thousand colonies of winged insects, and even some four-foot-long alligators. But when had such minor inconveniences ever stopped those two?

39. Condition

"I'll _be_ your 'best buddy forever'," Ferb responded slowly, his expression completely deadpan, "but on _one_ condition." Pause. "_I_ get the bathroom first in the morning."

40. Planet

After only two hours, they'd managed to accomplish the day's goal of discovering a new planet—which had naturally caused worldwide excitement, seeing as they'd found it not through a telescope but by cruising the solar system in an RV with rocket boosters. And they were just about to plant their flag on international television with billions of people (minus their parents, as usual) watching their every move when suddenly Phineas paused, thinking aloud that it might be a bit too egotistical to name a planet "PhineasnFerbania".

41. Zigzag

One thing that had always fascinated Phineas was how his stepbrother could draw a perfectly straight line without the aid of a ruler or any other sort of guide. For himself, he could barely even freehand a circle without the edges coming out choppy.

42. Clothing

Candace just glared irritably out the window at them, their heads bent so close together over their blueprints that their foreheads were nearly touching. "Just _look_ at them," she scoffed, crossing her arms tightly and furrowing her eyebrows. "They might as well just buy a T-shirt with two neck holes."

43. Tied

With those two, there was no such thing as a winner or a loser. It was just one and the other.

44. Grounds

All in all, the coffee incident was an epic disaster—one of their first, in fact. Though they had to admit, upon further reflection, that maybe it would have gone over better if they'd actually _ground up_ the coffee instead of just plunking the beans in the cups.

45. New

"Go out and find some new friends," their teachers were always preaching, lecturing on and on about this subject whenever they found an opportunity. Phineas would generally listen attentively, prepared to _indeed_ "go over and talk to someone new" once the period was over, but Ferb would just stare blankly at the chalkboard while the useless words washed over him. He didn't need any "new friends"; he had all the friends he'd ever need tied up neatly in one red-headed package.

46. Covet

Of all their individual possessions, there were only a very few that they thought of as belonging to just _one_ of them as opposed to _both_; those they left alone to their original owner. ...Except for Phineas's constant attempts to get Ferb to reveal the secrets of his photo album.

47. Rebound

Finally, after weeks of careful observation, Ferb had managed to find his brother's weakness—he just had to stand there and declare "Good lord, what in the world is _that?_", and what had started out as a perfect shot would end up hitting the backboard and ricocheting the basketball right into the older (and less curious) boy's waiting hands.

48. Content

It was so gratifying, sometimes, to just be able to lie under that tree and know that they were together.

49. Powder

Two seconds later, the kitchen was coated in a thick layer of powdered sugar and jelly doughnut filling, and although Perry too had been sprayed with debris that would take _hours_ to clean out of his fur, he couldn't suppress a fleeting grin at the boys' charmingly childish antics.

50. Crown

Even though the "crown" was just a cardboard giveaway from a fast-food kids' meal, without any hesitation Ferb reached up and placed it on his brother's head. But Phineas removed it just as quickly, dropping it to the table before him. "No _way_, Ferb," he stated simply, shaking his head from side to side, but smiling as he did so. "I can't be king unless _you're_ king with me."

**End**


	3. Candace And Jeremy

_A/N: Wahoo! Candace and Jeremy, the first canon romantic couple I've gotten up to! (And yes, there's a lot of fine print about how "canon" they are, but it's distinctly shown that Candace is in love with him and it's not like it takes a lot of interpretation to figure out how Jeremy feels.)_

_As writing for obsessive female characters is one of my greatest pleasures, even though I tried to give Jeremy his due, a lot of these are extremely Candace-centric. But she's just too funny to NOT focus on._

**Teenage Dramedies—Candace Flynn and Jeremy Johnson**

1. Fashion

Yes, her red-tank-top-and-white-skirt combo was cute, easy to put together and comfortable to wear, but it was for a completely different reason that she wore that specific outfit as often as she could; the first time she'd had it on, _he_ had gone out of his way to compliment her on it.

2. Pave The Way

"...Stacey," Candace began suddenly, and her best friend could tell that she'd been thinking hard about _this_ one, "do you think that pretending to reject a lot of guys would show Jeremy that _he's_ the only one for me, or would it just scare him off?"

3. Hot Water

Jeremy had always been good at Home Ec, as he was skilled at concentrating and had a very steady hand. So it surprised everyone, even himself, when the merest brush of Candace's elbow against his own almost made him drop a pot of boiling spaghetti on their teacher.

4. Suppression

Obviously there was a lot more bubbling underneath the surface than she would allow herself to communicate, and sometimes he too had that odd feeling as if there was something more to his words that he was unaware of. But they both pressed it down, laughing nervously, their cheeks maybe tinged a pale red, and tried to act as normal as possible.

5. Transparent

"Stacey? _Stacey?_ Ohmygawd, do you think he knows I like him? _He can't know I like him!!_" There was a moment's silence on her end of the conversation, then she snapped the phone out at arm's length so she could scream at it properly. "WHAT DO YOU _MEAN_ THAT SENDING HIM TEN ANONYMOUS VALENTINES WAS 'TOO OBVIOUS'?!"

6. Unrequited

"Of _course_," said Jeremy simply; "you're one of my friends." And although the statement made Candace happier than anything else in her life up to that point, she still felt a sort of heavy disappointment lurking in the pit of her stomach.

7. Drinking

As soon as the coughing fit had passed, he managed to stagger over to the counter to grab some napkins, fiercely mopping the Coca-Cola off the tabletop. Then he turned back to his uncle, blushing furiously, and told him _never again_ to say the words "Candace in a bathing suit" while he was drinking something.

8. Offer

The truck was dirty, to say the least, and old and disgusting and covered with dead bugs, but when Jeremy rolled the window down and asked if she wanted a lift, suddenly that truck seemed like a sparkling white limousine.

9. Stupidity

Phineas, from his vantage point in the front yard, dropped everything to watch in mute fascination as his sister sprinted down the sidewalk only to slow down once she reached her goal, falling awkwardly into step just beside the object of her obsession. "...So, if she _likes_ him," Phineas began just as the pair disappeared around the corner, "why doesn't she just _say_ so?"

Ferb didn't even look up from his book. "Apparently puberty makes you stupid."

10. Foreigner

He'd seen Candace sitting at a table with some of her friends, and for a moment he felt tempted to go over and join them. But the moment passed when he reflected that, to a guy, sitting in the middle of a pack of chattering girls was like watching a Japanese film without subtitles.

11. Massive

Okay, so it was only by a fraction of an inch or so, but the fact of the matter was _still_ that Jeremy had given her a bigger Christmas card than he'd given to anyone else in the class!

12. Sleep

_Sleep?_ reflected Candace, eyes wide and almost bloodshot as she gripped the edge of her sleeping bag like a vice. _Not with JEREMY in the next tent._

13. Hard

For Jeremy, at least, high school was difficult, having to juggle tests, homework, sports, his fledgling band, and his day job at Mr. Slushy Burger. But somehow, running into Candace during almost all of the aforementioned activities made it all a little easier.

14. Cheerfulness

It took him a while to spot that spring in her step, the extra-wideness of her smile; it wasn't until he saw her interacting with her brothers that he realized that she wasn't always as cheerful with other people as she was with him.

15. Weight

When he began, "Well, I'm not sure my opinion holds much weight with you, but...", it was all Candace could do not to give a snort of laughter.

16. Embark

As little as she wanted to think of her younger brother at such a time, she couldn't help but hold his words from that morning in her mind: _"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."_ So, taking a deep breath, Candace brought up her hand and rang the doorbell.

17. Tacky

Yes, they were forced to agree once the party had ended, Jeremy's knight costume had been horribly over-the-top, but not quite as much as Candace's sparkly tinfoil robot suit. And they laughed, and laughed, and in their childish reverie they shed all the awkwardness of the evening.

18. Doorkeeper

After the mailman, the next-door neighbors, an insurance salesman, and even Isabella's _dog_ had been informed of "how _excited_ Daddy's little teenager was to be going on her very first _date_", Candace just had to thank her lucky stars that Jeremy hadn't heard and swear a vow that never, _ever_ again would Lawrence Fletcher be allowed to answer the door of that house.

19. Principal

"E-_excuse_ me," Candace gasped, mortified at getting caught listening at the principal's door, _especially_ with Jeremy inside...though the latter had been the reason that she'd felt the need to do so in the first place. Feeling everyone's eyes on her, she stuttered, stammered, and finally lied through her teeth: "_Jeremy couldn't have been involved with those pranks because he was studying with ME when it all happened!_"

20. Disloyalty

He looked straight into her eyes as he said it—just at her, not at _any_ of the others sitting there waiting for his response, not even at the original questioner—and, for some reason, he seemed surer of his words because of it. "_Any_ guy who would cheat on his girlfriend would have to be the worst criminal in the world."

21. Finish

Even though Candace _knew_ she wasn't going to be able to finish her soda, she still kept a firm grip on her cup, spewing out some nonsense about getting her germs if he drank from it. But Jeremy just smiled and said he didn't mind.

22. Crisscross

"Stacey, HIS TICKET WAS LYING ACROSS MINE. I'm telling you, it's _destiny!_"

23. Wealthy

Technically speaking, Jeremy didn't _need_ a job; if he wanted money, he could ask his parents for some, and if he wanted "the job experience", he could just wait tables in his uncle's restaurant. But still, every week he was behind that counter at Mr. Slushy Burger, and every payday his funds went straight into his private hiding place. What he was saving up for, he didn't know, but someday he hoped he'd find out.

24. Slang

Catching herself in a horrible, _horrible_ slipup, Candace merely laughed nervously, rubbed her neck and went on (_almost_ casually) to inform Jeremy that "boyfriend" was the new word for "male acquaintance".

25. Tone

When Candace's cell phone went off, the ringtone was so familiar that for a moment he couldn't quite place it; the second time he heard it, he suddenly realized, with surprise and no small pleasure, that it was a song he'd written for his band.

26. Trigger

It didn't matter that it had just been a water gun, or that Jeremy had had a change of clothes with him—Candace was going to make that boy regret pulling the trigger.

27. Finagle

Jeremy shrugged, aware of the slightly suspicious scrutiny he was under from the redheaded woman, and went on, "...Ms. Flynn, could you just please ask Phineas and Ferb to lay off their sister for a while? Whatever it is they're doing, it's _really_ been stressing her out."

28. Inadequate

_What if he never likes me back? What if I'm not good enough for him? Why won't he give me any more signals than that impossibly cute smile?_

29. Formula

After she'd seen the "Love Potions 4 Sale Cheap" sign, Candace had almost _sprinted_ into the store before Stacey caught the girl's shirt and dragged her back to the curb, firmly ignoring her best friend's frantic protests that she'd "only been kidding".

30. Hibernate

After such a harrowing day, Jeremy just really wanted to get into bed and stay there for a few weeks...but just that one text message from _her_ sent him straight back out the door.

31. Thorough

Phineas shrugged. "Well, she _is_ kinda creepy with knowing his exact height and weight and body-mass-index and everything. ...Creepy, but _thorough_."

32. Rubbing

Although the room was small enough as it was, when a shortage of teachers forced two of the classes to combine, there was hardly enough room between the desks to sneeze in. So, forced to contend with one's knee rubbing against the other's for a full forty-five minutes of the day, it's needless to say that neither Candace nor Jeremy ever learned much about world history.

33. Muse

Try as they might, none of the other members of his band had ever managed to find out just for whom he had written the song "Finding The Girl Next Door".

34. Squall

It was like a hurricane in her insides; like torrents of rain were filling her stomach, swirled up by monstrously powerful winds, and even bubbling up small geysers here and there. _That's_ how she found out she was in love.

35. Compel

Stacey groaned, head in her hands, and finally just pushed the two of them under the mistletoe.

36. Smear

"Let me get that for you," he said automatically, not even pausing to inform her that she _did_ in fact have a smudge of paint on her face, and gently placed the napkin to her cheek.

37. Serious

No matter how many times it happened, Candace was always surprised to discover just how much fun hanging out with Jeremy could be if only she forgot about any serious romantic concerns and just let herself relax in his company.

38. Persuade

"How about _this_..." began Isabella deceptively sweetly. "You can take Candace on a date by yourself, or her brothers can _escort_ you."

39. Moral

Though she didn't want to say as much aloud for fear of embarrassing her daughter, Linda was secretly glad that Jeremy was the only teenaged boy that Candace hung out with; if nothing else, it was good to know that she could trust her daughter with him.

40. Exercise

From anyone else, and even from _him_ if it had been worded a little differently, she would have greeted the suggestion with a vigorous verbal lashing and possibly even the beginnings of a _physical_ one. But the fact of the matter was that he _had_ invited her to work out at the fitness center _together_, and so any other implications were stomped upon and swept under the bed.

41. Arrange

As much as she'd wanted to, and as many opportunities as she'd had to do so, she had refused to allow herself to reschedule her classes so she could have at least _one_ of them with Jeremy. So it came as a total shock when the first of September rolled along and she was greeted with his smiling face every time she walked into a classroom.

42. Visibility

Maybe the future wasn't clear, Candace decided as she took his proffered hand. But it was certainly looking bright.

43. Satisfaction

It was funny; as laid-back and easygoing as he generally was, Jeremy could never remember feeling so content from just having an ice cream sundae. ...Then again, as he glanced at the redheaded girl beside him, maybe it was something to do with the company.

44. Misshapen

Clearly the miniature sculpture had _not_ turned out as expected, as the sides were chipped, the bottom half was crumbling and overall the entire thing looked slightly deformed. But because she had still had the courage to give it to him, he just smiled, fabricated a comment about it looking "abstract", and let the joyous expression on her face become his gift instead.

45. Guttural

Jeremy was so impressed by the deep voice Candace had used on her mother's jazz album that, only a week later and having memorized all the songs on the CD, he asked if she'd mind performing in that same style for a blues song he was preparing for his band's next concert. Candace just laughed nervously, twiddling her hands together, and asked if actually going onstage would be required.

46. Carbon Copy

Well, so she _had_ been flirting a little with that teenaged noble during that vacation in England—Candace wasn't going to deny _that_. But that obsession had passed by quickly, probably because, although he had _looked_ like Jeremy, who needs a walking photograph when you've got the real thing back home?

47. Jolt

As her hand passed just by his own, there was a moment where it felt like there'd been an electric spark between them, mysterious and inexplicable and connected to one of the more minute corners of fate itself. Or maybe it was static electricity.

48. Witch Hunt

"It was the _weirdest thing_..." was all Jeremy could really say when the school newspaper approached him for a statement. "I mean, one second Mindy was asking if we could have lunch together, and the next second I hear that she was found stuck to a wall with Krazy Glue!"

49. Condiment

He'd never liked ketchup, hating the taste and the texture of it no matter what kind of food he put it on. ...Then, one day, Candace had leaned too far over his table and accidentally knocked the red stuff onto his hot dog, and, oddly enough, since then it's become one of his favorite condiments.

50. Important

Their heads resting against each other, the fireworks exploding over the lake, his fingers intertwined with hers...of course it was all wonderful, unforgettable, _perfect_. So much so that it didn't even _matter_ whether things went back to normal the next day, flirting covertly under the guise of friends or acquaintances; all that mattered was that they were happy _right then_, and, as that criteria had already been fulfilled, all was right with the world.

**End**


	4. Vanessa And Charlene

_A/N: GAH! Sorry for the long wait...originally I wasn't going to post this until I'd finished with the challenge I'm currently working on (which is Linda and Lawrence), but I've been so busy that I haven't been able to work on it. And I felt kinda bad about not having posted anything recently. So, if I'm not done with the Linda and Lawrence one by the end of February, I'll just post the next chapter (Buford and Baljeet) and then work like mad on Linda and Lawrence._

_Anyhoo, I really wanted to do a "female and female" challenge, since the preceding challenges were two "male and male"s and a "male and female". So here's Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and her mother, Charlene; it was pretty difficult, since, at the time I wrote this, Charlene had only been in one episode ("I Scream You Scream"—"All Hail Doofania" hadn't come out yet)...but, through a little improvisation, I think I characterized her well enough._

**Awkward Tenderness—Vanessa and Charlene Doofenshmirtz**

1. Purse

Vanessa never, _ever_ carried a purse, nor had she expressed the slightest interest in owning one. But her mother kept buying more and more purses, sometimes even half a dozen at a time, as though expecting that someday Vanessa might need one...or ten.

2. Devil

In the end, she was nearly two hours late to the party, and there was a sour but mildly amused look on her face as she explained to Johnny that she'd had a rough time convincing her mother that, just because they were a bunch of teenagers hanging out near a graveyard, it didn't mean that they were going to "offer sacrifices to Satan".

3. Outlaw

Very likely, theirs was the only household in the entire Tri-State area to enforce a strict "No-Boy Band" policy.

4. Complaint

"Complain, complain, _complain_," Charlene snapped uncharacteristically fiercely, interrupting Vanessa in the middle of another tirade against her father. "You hardly open your mouth as it is, Vanessa, but every time you do, does it _have_ to be a complaint?"

5. Enlist

Although not normally one for mind games, sometimes Vanessa would pretend to be engrossed in army recruitment ads, just to see how her mother would react.

6. Feel For

Their relationship was more formal than anything, with neither one entirely willing to open up their hearts to the other; although Vanessa didn't seem to care about that, sometimes Charlene wished that her daughter would talk to her about some boy she liked or some problems she was having, just so she could try to empathize.

7. Couch

Some nights, lying awake in her room, Vanessa could hear her mother's drowsy footsteps pass into the living room, and they almost always came to a halt by the doorway, as though she'd been expecting to see Heinz's lanky form draped over the couch again. On nights like those, all Vanessa could really do was pull the covers over her head and vow to be considerate to her mother the next morning.

8. Invisibility

Vanessa had always been a quiet girl, the type who would rather keep to herself than get involved with others. And as much of a relief as that could be for Charlene, sometimes she had moments where she had to check to make sure that her daughter was still there, and that she hadn't simply disappeared without a trace.

9. Electrify

"I _know_ it's not a toy," muttered the toddler impassively when her mother caught her holding a fork up to a power outlet. "I was doin' a _scientific experiment_."

10. Foundling

Most children, even those without devious older siblings, have asked a parent at some point in their lives about whether or not they'd been adopted. Vanessa, on the other hand, had never done so—she'd just let that worry fester inside her brain, eating away at her inner being each time she entertained it, long after others would have given the idea up.

11. Prickle

All of a sudden, the hair on the back of Charlene's neck stood straight up, and without a doubt she _knew_—Vanessa was trying to use the stove.

12. Local

Once, Vanessa had grumbled about how bored she was with living in such a "dead-end town" with "absolutely nothing to do". Only _once_, though, because that one time she'd complained, her mother had forcibly dragged her to her cooking class every day for an entire week.

13. Custodian

In the end, it had just been the school janitor, and the only reason he'd been following her had been because he'd been trying to return the wallet she'd unknowingly dropped. But still, the sight of Charlene suddenly appearing from behind him and delivering a swiftly incapacitating karate chop to the neck was something that her daughter would never, _ever_ forget.

14. Sponge

It took almost half an hour to extricate the sponge, and the entire time Vanessa had to wonder just how in _all_ the world her mother had gotten it wedged underneath the refrigerator.

15. Indebted

Her mother had always said that Heinz had given her _one thing_ for which she would forever be thankful; it wasn't until she was thirteen that Vanessa caught the look that went with the statement and realized what her mother meant.

16. Gruff

Overall, she thought the _world_ of her daughter, and loved her even more than she had loved her husband at the peak of their relationship. Still, whenever she discussed Vanessa with anyone, it was hard to keep that sarcastic tone out of her voice.

17. Wind

Vanessa just snorted, flipping her hair back as Candace quirked an eyebrow at her. "You think _your_ mom's crazy...when I was three, _mine_ told me if I went out on a windy day without a coat, I'd _die_."

18. Reception

Some mothers, when expecting company, would thoroughly brush their daughters down and order them to act properly, offering up threats if their conditions were not met. Not this mother; she would just elbow Vanessa sharply and that would be that.

19. Light

Although she knew that her daughter preferred the darkness—and even perhaps _because_ she knew—Charlene would sometimes wander throughout the house and turn the lights on in any darkened room she found. If there was no change, she would turn them back off, but if there was a sharp hissing noise, she would just smirk and walk away.

20. Circulate

Although Vanessa had only dressed up as her mother for _one_ Halloween, and that as a joke, the rumors were still buzzing around Danville about "the witch twins".

21. Frank

Charlene had often praised her daughter for being so candid, and "telling it like it is". However, the comments on her report cards held a completely different stance on that idea.

22. Common

"_One in a million"_; both said it about the other as much as they could, sometimes mockingly and sometimes sincerely, as if challenging the other to figure out the current meaning.

23. Reincarnation

Suddenly Dr. Doofenshmirtz paused, rubbing his chin as he narrowed his eyes at his daughter. "...You know, if I didn't know that your mother was alive and well, I'd _swear_ that she'd been reborn in your body."

24. Outlast

So Vanessa had been skipping gym class; to some mothers, a federal offense, to others, nothing to be concerned over. To this mother, it was something to make her shove her daughter out the door and, jogging, herd her along the sidewalk, all the while making cracks about "the survival of the fittest".

25. Middle

Even though she only lived with her father on alternating weekends, every time she had to pack up to leave, Vanessa would wonder if she was doomed always to be in the middle, with neither parent wanting her enough to keep her around all the time.

26. Hook

With the bubbly music of Linda's jazz trio echoing in the background, the stoic woman continued hooking her needles through the tapestry of yarn, weaving threads together and heedless of anything around her...until suddenly it hit her that maybe her daughter wouldn't be _quite_ as thrilled with a bright pink sweater as she had originally thought.

27. Descent

"Preparing for drop, preparing for drop," drawled the girl into her cell phone in a perfect monotone, knowing just how much it would annoy her mother. She glanced back up at the sign on the building—"Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc."—and resumed in an even more mechanical voice. "Descent into the Fiery Pits of the Abyss in _five_, _four_..."

28. Singular

Truth be told, Charlene had always wanted a large family, a big house with two or three children running amok at any given time just so she could indulge herself in the feeling of pure chaos. And now she was a single mother, living alone with her single daughter; but, as little as that resembled her original dream, she felt that things had turned out perfectly fine after all.

29. Pure

"It's black like the stains on my soul," Vanessa deadpanned when her mother had inquired as to her new choice of wardrobe, and Charlene smirked and replied that she hadn't known that Vanessa's soul had been so clean to begin with.

30. Choice

One thing among many things that the dark-haired girl would never, _ever_ tell her father was the reality behind her living arrangements: she had been asked privately, by the lawyer no less, which parent she would rather live with full-time, and she had unhesitatingly chosen her mother.

31. Gaping

It was the first time Charlene could remember ever having worn such a shell-shocked expression in the presence of her daughter, but it's not as if she could help it; after all, she had _seen_ that television set, and although it was currently blaring some kind of rock concert, mere moments before Vanessa had _very avidly_ been watching EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMMING.

32. Freedom

"_Sure_ you can leave this house the second you turn eighteen. But of course _that_ means you'll be paying your _own_ way through college."

33. Undo

The one always groaned to herself after she'd finished, wishing that she could do it over to make it perfect; the other knew that, although she herself had done several things she would never be proud of, there were some things that shouldn't be erased.

34. Cramped

It wasn't because her mother had asked in a nasty way, because she _hadn't_, but Vanessa answered snappily in the negative because she was a contradictory girl. The truth of the matter was that _yes_, yes, those boots DID pinch her legs like crazy, but she wasn't about to say as much aloud.

35. Discontent

"I don't _hate_ you," Vanessa murmured after the door had already closed, cupping her palm over her forehead. "I get annoyed, yes, but I could never _hate_ you."

36. Resuscitate

The offhand remark had at first instigated a short, shrill shouting match, and by the time the night was done they were chasing each other all over the house, calling out sarcastic comments and laughing through it all. But really, how _else_ does a conversation end when it starts with "Mom, would you ever want me to keep you on life support?"

37. Sway

Though they'd only be at the Flynn-Fletchers' for ten minutes maximum, Charlene still led Linda off to the side to mutter a short warning about how her daughter was "a little strange". The true irony there was that, at the same time, Vanessa was giving Candace that exact warning about her mother.

38. Enemy

"Yeah, I _know_ you're Dad's 'nemesis'," Vanessa acknowledged, squatting down to better face the platypus, "but could you _please_ show yourself to my mom so she knows I'm not crazy?"

39. Treacherous

Phone in hand, gesticulating wildly, Heinz paced up and down the length of his lair, the tempo of his steps increasing at nearly the same rate as the beat of his words. No, he had _not_ been seeing another woman behind her back, not that it would matter ANYWAYS because it was none of her business and yes she HAD given up the right to pry when they'd been going through the settlement...no, he didn't _care_ if by "other woman" she meant Vanessa! Besides he himself, who could be so possessive of a daughter _anyways?_

40. Command

"Sit still, and _don't move_" had been the woman's command to her three-year-old daughter, and she didn't even bat an eye when the girl instantly began squirming and whining to the point that they had to be escorted from the theater; after all, the mother had hated that movie five minutes after sitting down and would have taken _any_ excuse to leave it.

41. Even Temper

On the day of the split, Charlene had decided that she would never again lose her temper with her daughter; after all, look what had happened when she'd done it with the girl's _father_.

42. Tonic

Not even an hour after she'd last departed, the woman was back at the pharmacist's counter, hideous bags under her eyes and some oddly-colored, congealed goop spattered all over her hair and clothes. Still, she was able to give the woman there a sarcastic half-grin and inquire as to whether they had the medicine in any flavors besides "yucky".

43. Craze

Vanessa didn't jump from fad to fad like some other teenaged girls; she just picked the one that she liked and stayed with it for the rest of her life. And, _of course_, it had just _happened_ to be the one fad that her mother had always hated the most.

44. Danger

"We braved the Forests of Fury, the Pits of Peril, the Cliffs of Carelessness, and even the Blazes of Blasphemy," the girl groaned when Johnny found her slumped exhaustedly on a park bench, her dark hair a tangled mess and darker bags then usual under her eyes. "Yup...my mother has discovered _role-playing games._"

45. Whine

Phineas and Ferb just blinked, exchanging glances before peering back down over the edge of their car on the ferris wheel. Sure, they'd seen a lot of protesting toddlers getting dragged across HappyWorldLand by impatient mothers, but that was the first time they'd ever seen a woman do the same with a _teenaged girl_.

46. Kindness

There was no need to ask where the mysterious block of fudge had appeared from; since she hadn't delivered it in person, clearly she didn't want the gift to be acknowledged. So Charlene just put it in the refrigerator, a secret smile stretching across her face.

47. Fine

Admittedly, revoking "car privileges" for one ten-dollar fine was a bit extreme...but not when one considers the fact that Vanessa had gotten that speeding ticket in the middle of the _driveway_.

48. Anniversary

The woman just stuck her fork back into the filet mignon before her, acting as though it was a perfectly normal occurrence for her daughter to be treating the both of them to dinner in a fancy restaurant. ...The force with which her tool met her meat was a sharp reminder that she _did_ remember that it was currently what _had_ been her wedding anniversary, but the arm that she draped around her daughter's shoulders was enough to communicate her sincere thanks.

49. Relish

Each moment without scolding, without insults, was a precious jewel; though they might pretend that the moments were coal, or mud, still, as soon as the other stopped looking, they would reach back into that memory and savor it as though it could disappear in a moment.

50. Resolved

"_I love you."_

Three words, but to a mother or a daughter, they can mean more than a universe.

_"I love you too."_

**~End~**


	5. Buford And Baljeet

_A/N: Have I ever mentioned how much I love antagonistic relationships? Yeah, it's all well and good if the two characters are always happy and helpful with each other, but every once in a while you need a major argument or something to spice it up. Which is why I picked Buford and Baljeet as my next pair on this list. Their on-show relationship is so complex; as I point out somewhere in this theme set, half the time Buford is terrorizing Baljeet, and the other half of the time they're working together like best friends._

_And, just so we're clear: in number 23, the word "naughty" is used in the context of "something illegal", so it was NOT meant to be erotic in ANY WAY. (Oddly enough, that prompt, written a few months ago, strongly resembles a concept from the recent episode "The Lake Nose Monster"...) And number 26 ("Folk Dance") is about Baljeet misinterpreting the concept of "asking someone out"—he's thinking about it in terms of inviting someone as a friend, not as asking someone on a date. If either of them has any kind of romantic notions in that bit, it's Buford for getting so embarrassed. XD_

_Without further ado..._

**The Victim Protection Program—Buford Van Stomm and Baljeet Patel**

1. Eight

Once, overwhelmed by goodwill, Baljeet had told Buford that eight was his lucky number. So, of course, Buford had punched him eight times in response.

2. Packing

As occupied as she was in trying to coordinate all the raucous children running around the campsite, Betty Jo couldn't help but notice that a large, pale-looking boy with a crew cut seemed to be without any luggage. Concerned, she asked him if he'd lost his backpack, to which he shook his head vigorously and replied that he didn't need one. Now a bit suspicious, she asked him how he'd get what he needed on the hiking trip...and he immediately pointed at the Indian boy on the other side of the clearing.

3. Curt

"Get outta my FACE, ya little _runt!_ ...Geez, da MANNERS of some people..."

4. Embarrass

Whenever Buford found out something embarrassing about Baljeet, he'd exploit it; whenever Baljeet found out something embarrassing about Buford, he'd just keep silent. He hoped that Buford would someday learn by his example, but unfortunately with each successive incident that possibility became slimmer and slimmer.

5. Continuation

One thing that Baljeet had learned very, _very_ quickly: if Buford cracked his knuckles and asked you where he'd left off last time, you were not meant to _answer_. You were meant to _run_.

6. Fateful

Just think—if Buford hadn't been lying underneath the overpass that day, Baljeet could very well have toppled to his doom! But, no matter how much Baljeet gushed about how fortunate it was that _destiny_ had led Buford to the spot, the bully still wouldn't accept that as an excuse for having a small boy drop out of the sky and land on your stomach.

7. Uniformity

As with most other bullies, Buford had picked his target based on the fact that this little Indian boy was "different" from the others. Baljeet wished he could conform, just melt into the crowd, if only to avoid the torment...but with his accent he was "different" the moment he opened his mouth, and Baljeet was just one of those boys who could never remain silent.

8. Immature

"Did too." "_Did not._" "Did too." "_Did not._" The bickering would continue in that way for hours, neither competitor willing to give up his ground, the original dispute having been long forgotten and both boys grinning all the time.

9. Weakness

There were so many secrets about himself that Buford would keep hidden, denying their existence until circumstances forced him to reveal them. Clearly he concealed these because he thought of them as weaknesses; but with every revelation, Baljeet became more and more awed at the many facets of this deceptively simple boy.

10. Violation

"_There_," the bully snapped harshly, stomping across the crosswalk until he'd landed on the opposite corner. "_That_ ain't jaywalkin', _right?_"

Very wisely, the other boy decided not to point out that he'd gone against the traffic light.

11. Minor

Nothing, be it an irritation or a joy, was ever "minor" with Buford; everything was always exaggerated to the full extent of its potential. To little Baljeet, whose well-being often depended on Buford's mood, this fact was a source of constant optimism as he started on his epic quest to please that daunting boy.

12. Green

He'd spent more than his fair share of time hiding in bushes, staring fearfully out at the verdant emerald leaves around him as he tried to avoid detection. Yet, somehow, green remained his favorite color.

13. Masterful

It was a mystery why, in the middle of everything, Baljeet suddenly complimented Buford and how talented he was at terrorizing people. It was an even bigger mystery why Buford responded with praise for Baljeet's cringes.

14. Lenient

Those wide, terrified eyes...he'd seen eyes like those before _many_ times, and more often than not from this same boy. And yet just then they made him lower his fists and walk away, though not before he could shoot off a remark about how the frightened victim wouldn't get off so easy the next time.

15. Allied

In every event that required partners, they were always paired up. _Always_. Why was it that, although they were practically mortal enemies in all other situations, they still formed such a strong team?

16. Cleverness

Ferb, the most brilliant scientific mind in the neighborhood, had been standing right in front of him. Next to Ferb had been Phineas, the creative genius, and beside _him_ had been Isabella, a master at thinking on her feet. And yet it was _Baljeet_ who was grabbed by the collar and forced to do the bully's homework, and, as tedious as it was, the boy couldn't help but feel flattered.

17. Thievery

For a short moment, Phineas and Ferb just stared at the J-Box 64 game system sitting on the ground, then stared at each other, utterly speechless. Sure, it had turned out that Buford _hadn't_ stolen it, but with all the circumstantial evidence stacked against him and his lengthy record of not-so-nice behavior... They should've just listened to Baljeet in the first place, they realized; after all, he'd believed in Buford's innocence from the very start.

18. Outsider

_Dearest relatives: Today I spent my first day in an American school, and tomorrow I plan to make my first American friend. Some call him "Buford The Terrible"; such an honorable title!_

19. Drive

There was no reason for him to have done it—nothing he could gain, as far as anyone could see. Even so, just as the little Indian child was fretting over how in the world he would get to his doctor's appointment, he was grabbed roughly by the overalls and thrown into the sidecar of a motorcycle, which was promptly mounted by a tough-looking boy who gunned the engines without leaving any room for discussion.

20. Substitution

Although Baljeet was pleased to get off the bench and replace the injured outfielder for the final inning, he still couldn't understand why _he_ had been chosen; after all, he was last in the lineup, with the entire Fireside Girls troop and even Pinky the Chihuahua ahead of him. But whenever he asked the coach why he had been called up, the man would just pull at his collar nervously...and he always seemed to jump whenever he heard the sound of cracking knuckles.

21. Trench

"We must fight fire with fire, friend," hissed the Indian boy, and the word "friend" slipped out of his mouth as easily as if he'd said it a thousand times; Buford made no mention of it, instead grabbing another bucket of water balloons and muttering about how he'd only let it slide because they were in the middle of a war.

22. Hope

Nine times out of ten the victim would be shoved to the ground and simply lie there until he found the will to move again; the tenth time, a thick, beefy hand would roughly haul him up. Even if it was just one time for every nine, it was enough that he could bear repeating the cycle.

23. Naughty

It was the first time in his entire life that he had _ever_ done anything even _remotely_ unethical; yet somehow, though he was literally dragged through the whole ordeal by his unscrupulous partner, it gave him such a huge, gushing thrill that he felt he'd do it all again in an instant.

24. Examine

Then, when he shoved the "bug" back under the microscope, he realized with a start that Buford had actually been right—it _was_ just a piece of lint.

25. Insufficient

Growling, Buford threw the small change back in Baljeet's face, stating that fifty cents wasn't _nearly_ enough money for a respectable bully to be making, to which Baljeet timidly raised a hand and pledged five dollars.

26. Folk Dance

"What?" inquired the foreign boy innocently as he watched all remnants of color drain from Buford's shocked face, only to be replaced moments later by a flaming fire-engine red. "Isabella _told_ me to 'ask someone out' to Phineas and Ferb's squaredance, and _you_ are the best dancer I know of..."

27. Throw Out

Most bullies, after robbing their victims, would just dump unnecessary conquests, such as personal notes or knickknacks, into a trash can. However, this one stored them all in an old cardboard shoebox with the messy label "Someday", never to be shown to others and sometimes even kept secret from himself.

28. Shake

The school nurse just clucked her tongue and continued muttering about "stupid reckless children" while she bandaged up the child's fingers, never once listening to his protests that he'd merely asked "the large, slightly smelly boy" to shake hands with him.

29. Blunder

Isabella just crossed her arms smugly, knowing that Buford had no response for her and wouldn't _dare_ hit her as he would have if she'd been a boy. So she just watched him squirm as he tried to explain just _what_ he had meant by "Baljeet's a pretty awesome dude".

30. Reasonable

If Buford had ever stopped to think about it, he would have noticed the sheer _strangeness_ of the fact that Baljeet would just pop up out of nowhere and call "Bet you can't catch me!", as such behavior was practically an invitation for a beating..._and_ that all these instances just _happened_ to take place during school track meets. But to Baljeet, no matter what the risk, it was still the easiest way to lead his team to victory—so long as someone caught Buford after he'd crossed the finish line.

31. Quarry

It would have taken a moron not to understand why all of Baljeet's creative writing assignments ended up being about a frightened rabbit who was constantly chased by a very large wolf.

32. Document

Once, having heard of the concept on a news broadcast, the large boy tauntingly accused his victim of being an illegal immigrant. To his surprise, this had nearly sent the foreign boy to terrified tears, and the next day he had even shown up at the bully's house and given him copies of all the paperwork proving his legitimacy, frantically explaining the significance of each one...and the bully never brought it up again.

33. West

As much of an honor as Phineas apparently thought it was to have the two of them cast as the flying monkeys, it was still a constant source of humiliation for both. Oddly enough, though, Buford managed to restrain himself from attacking those "witty jokers"—until the Scarecrow started needling Baljeet, for which he was suddenly and liberally doused with the Wicked Witch's fatal water.

34. Cauldron

And yet, when Flying Monkey Number Two tried to thank Flying Monkey Number One for that noble deed, he himself wound up inside the cauldron.

35. Ache

Only one person had heard him complain about how much his arm had hurt after his daily beating, and _he_ wouldn't have sent it...but then where had that Get-Well card come from?

36. Blind

"Aw, c'MON!" Finally Buford just had to tackle the screaming boy, pin him to the ground, and furiously wrestle the blindfold off. "You ain't _blind_, ya nitwit!"

37. Perky

Candace raised an eyebrow as the dark-skinned boy stiffened guiltily in the middle of a small dance. "Well, you're awfully _happy_ for someone who's just had his week's allowance stolen."

38. Simmering

In school, one's social status is directly related to how long it takes one to stop talking when a teacher says "simmer down"; that's why the victim was always the first one to clam up whereas the bully would carry on long after the rest of the room had gone silent.

39. Stab

Although everyone in their grade chalked it up to a vicious act of vengeance and applauded him for his "brave attack", Baljeet really _had_ just tripped while carrying that very sharp pencil.

40. Bleary

As common a sight it was at Mr. Slushy Burger, Jeremy still couldn't help but be concerned when he saw the snoring Buford slumped over the counter, clearly having guzzled one too many root beers. Then a small dark-skinned child had appeared at the booth, gingerly pulling the larger boy off of his stool, and, in response to Jeremy's questioning glance, explained that he was the designated driver.

41. Spit

Spitting made you look tough, Buford had convinced the boy, and spat impressively to accentuate his point. Not to be outdone, Baljeet tried his hand at it himself—and that afternoon he went home with spittle-clogged lungs, three bruised ribs and the knowledge of who _not_ to call upon to perform the Heimlich maneuver.

42. Manager

It was only a classroom example, and the teacher had thought it a very reasonable one too; use Baljeet to represent a mob boss and Buford to represent one of his underlings. But catching that furious glare from across the room immediately told Baljeet that this was going to be one of those stories where the hitman rubbed out his master after school.

43. Alarm

Not a lot of things could scare the bully; at least, not so people would _know_ he was scared. However, falling onto his bed and suddenly seeing that boy's wide-eyed visage in the window over his head was one of those things that just made him scream.

44. Come To Terms

Baljeet tapped his fingers together rapidly, averting his eyes and sweating furiously under the glare of his hulking adversary. "W-well, I know that this is totally unreasonable and has absolutely no basis on reality, but, even though you terrorize me every day of my life...I still consider you one of my best friends."

45. Pioneer

Isabella just winked at him, lightly punching Baljeet in the arm before walking away. He was probably the first kid to ever try to gain Buford's approval, but even if there had been thousands of kids before him, she would still bet anything in the world that he'd be the only one to succeed.

46. Clarity

His worst fear had always been that someone would come along and see right through him—see that he wasn't really a tough guy, see his hidden insecurities. So, after the little Indian boy had come up to him on his first day and cheerfully accused him of being "secretly very lonely", he had really had no other choice but to attack.

47. Signature

Baljeet had often heard that you could tell a lot about someone by their signature; the size of the letters could describe confidence, the alignment could spell out self-doubt... He wondered what could be learned from the signature that had been so forcefully inscribed on his forehead.

48. Divine

The argument was a loud and heated one, which was unusual for those two, as Buford would more often throw punches than words and Baljeet generally ran off and hid whenever he heard Buford raise his voice. After Buford finally asserted his dominance, he stomped on home in a triumphant mood...then paused, glanced around to make sure nobody was looking, and opened the dictionary.

"_WHAT?!?_ Whaddaya MEAN leprechauns ain't the gods for the religion of 'leprosy'?!"

49. Inconsistent

Untouchable one day, tolerant the next. Someday he'd pick one, but for now he was an enigma.

50. Bully

Baljeet looked on confusedly as the little foreign girl sighed with relief; catching his expression, she explained that she'd been afraid of him because she'd seen him in Buford's company so often that she'd assumed that Baljeet too was a hardboiled, tough-as-nails bully. And then Baljeet laughed. As sorry as he felt for the girl, it was still the funniest thing he'd heard in a long time.

**~End~**


	6. Linda And Lawrence

_A/N: Sorry for the excruciatingly long wait, but I've been extremely busy as of late, and for a while there I kind of dropped off the fanfiction map entirely. (I wasn't even READING fanfiction for a few months, which, to me, is an absolutely terrifying prospect.) It also doesn't help that a lot of people on this site and on deviantART (a link to my page can be found on my profile) only seem to care about my _Phineas and Ferb_ stuff to the exclusion of everything else...I DO write/draw a lot of other fandoms, as well as having my own original comic book series, so I'd really appreciate it if some of you reading this at least check out some of my other stuff when you're done. Thanks._

_But y'know, Linda Flynn and Lawrence Fletcher (the parents of Phineas, Ferb and Candace, for those not "in the loop") don't get half as much love in the fandom as they deserve. They're such an excellent couple—and on top of that, Lawrence is SO much fun to write for. (I enjoyed writing his scenes in my fic "The Great Danville Cold Wars" almost as much as I enjoyed writing the Perry scenes, which I loved to the ends of the earth and back.)_

_Random side note: 19 ("Mistake") and 27 ("Genial") are completely unrelated; nobody in 27 has recognized anybody from the incident in 19. Though "Genial" is the product of a plot bunny that I just might have to indulge one of these days, if I ever get really inspired._

_Anyhow, on to..._

**Meant To Be—Linda Flynn and Lawrence Fletcher**

1. Distinction

He coughed loudly before adjusting his glasses in a move that she found utterly adorable, even in—_especially_ in—a grown man. "How...how would you like," he began, trying to sound suave but failing charmingly, "to have the distinction of being...the w-wife of an English gentleman?"

2. Contribute

More than once she had accused him of passing on traits to her son and daughter, just as he often claimed that his own son had inherited certain characteristics from her, each one only catching the mistake after the sentence tumbled out. It was so hard to remember that each child was only biologically linked to _one_ of them rather than being products of both.

3. Rule With An Iron Hand

As Linda and Lawrence had each been married before, they agreed that it would be best to start their new relationship by laying down a few ground rules. The first being, of course, that Linda would be the executive decision-maker.

4. Station

They first met in a train station, though "met" is a strong word; they passed each other to board separate trains. Yet each had the other's picture in their mind for their entire journey.

5. Intrusion

As slowly and quietly as possible, Phineas tiptoed backwards out of the doorway until he could stand it no longer and simply ran back to his room. He'd heard of kids walking in on their parents doing embarrassing things, but..._wow_. Dad had been reading Mom a _bedtime story._

6. Simplify

Flushing desperately before her soft smirk, Lawrence insisted that he didn't understand what she was trying to say. So Linda leaned upwards and simplified it for him.

7. Slow Up

"Slow up? _Slow up?_ Lawrence, I'm doing two miles an hour _already!_"

8. Hilarious

For the rest of the day, the bespectacled man was horrendously confused. He just couldn't understand what was so funny—that old pop song "I'm Lindana And I Wanna Have Fun" had been playing on the radio, so he'd confessed to his wife that he'd once had a fleeting crush on that singer. But why in the _world_ should that idea make her laugh _that hard?_

9. Contentment

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Yet theirs seems to be the best example of one.

10. Seat

Once, back when they'd first started dating, she had invited him to dinner at her parents' house. The moment Lawrence sprinted into the dining room to pull out Linda's chair for her, Betty Jo and Clyde immediately approved of him.

11. Balk

"Oh, is _that_ it?" challenged Linda in a playful tone, stepping closer to the "Dance Dance 'Till-You-Lose-Your-Pants" machine. "Well, I'm not backing down, honey! Let's _do_ this!"

12. Foal

After a few dizzying hours, Candace suddenly realized that her mother had trained Lawrence in the same way she'd done for her first husband, using that time-tested "I want a pony"-response method: each parent would consistently refer her request to the other, going in an endless loop.

13. King-Sized

The salesman had called it a "king-sized bed", but until she saw it with her own eyes Linda had been totally unprepared for how absolutely _huge_ it was. So, for the entire car ride home, Lawrence had endured her endless babbling about the phenomenal size of the mattress and how their combined extended family could probably fit in it, not opening his mouth once until they were actually back in their own driveway...when he turned to her and remarked, completely deadpan, that the "king" the salesman had referred to had probably been Henry the Eighth.

14. Precocious

Innocently curious as he was, Phineas one day wanted to know where babies came from, and so he'd asked his parents. From that day until his first high school health class, he was firmly convinced that he and his siblings had hatched from a chicken egg.

15. Well-Educated

"Oh, Lawrence?" Linda replied calmly, sipping her coffee as the rest of the ladies' club looked on. "He's an Oxford man." Then, without missing a beat: "He was the librarian's photo double."

16. Secret Place

Hers was the comfort of a recording studio, where only four walls and a solitary microphone could pass judgment. His...well, _his_ was the bedroom closet.

17. Revel

Every experience was new and exciting. And because of their love, each moment lasted forever.

18. Dandy

Finally realizing that by "dandy" Lawrence had meant "fashionable gentleman", Linda just shook her head and told him that while English was all right as a language, it would probably help her more if he would just speak American.

19. Mistake

"Heh...heh...m-my mistake," apologized Dr. Doofenshmirtz hurriedly, rubbing his sore jaw and rushing his shopping cart to the opposite end of the store. For a moment Lawrence stared blankly after him, but soon his face was covered by a cocky grin, and, blowing imaginary smoke off his knuckles, remained completely unaware of the fact that Linda, preoccupied with a box of cereal, had heard absolutely nothing of how heroically her husband had just defended her honor.

20. Stew

He just could _never_ say an unkind word to that face. So he waited until she wasn't looking, tipped the broth into Perry's bowl, and simply kept his mouth shut.

21. Somewhere

Linda merely stared in disbelief as her husband scooted out from under the couch in order to check behind the drapes. Honestly, _how_ many times could a man search a house without losing faith in the idea that his missing car keys would just _magically_ appear?

22. Darkness

Neither of her children had ever been afraid of the dark. That's because, during their younger years, she had made a point of visibly guarding the hallways at night with a baseball bat.

23. Peppery

"Well...um...I thought the seasoning would be good for him," he explained lamely when Linda caught him, his half-empty plate still poised over the platypus's dinner.

24. Quandary

There was no problem in a world that that family could not solve if they only worked together. ...That is, until Candace announced that she wanted to start dating.

25. Ancestral

Inspired by the boys' awe over Grandpa Fletcher's old English castle, Lawrence began to propose—subtly, he thought—that perhaps the whole family could make arrangements to move in and stay permanently. That is, until Linda gave him a _look_ that clearly said _"Well, Mister, who do you think would be CLEANING this place?"_

26. Order

There was always a place for everything and everything in its place. However, the redheaded woman had yet to figure out exactly _what_ was the basis of a system that had personal treasures in a toolbox and unripe grapefruits stacked on bookshelves.

27. Genial

Heinz glared suspiciously at the couple across the table—_how_ Charlene had managed to get him to go to dinner with her friend's weird family, he'd _never_ know—as he reluctantly accepted the salt Mr. Flynn-Fletcher had passed him. These people...they were nice. Almost _too_ nice...

28. Dingy

Every time he watched _Mary Poppins_, he'd constantly sing the chimneysweep song loudly and off-key throughout the next week, interspersed with conversations in a perfect(ly annoying) Cockney accent. Then one day his wife decided to let him find out firsthand what being a _real_ chimneysweep felt like; after those six hours, he swore off Julie Andrews forever.

29. Receiving

It was always better to give than to receive, they always said. Because of this, they spent every holiday giving away massive quantities of gifts, completely ignoring the fact that these presents were teaching the recipients the exact opposite lesson.

30. Blissful

"The second my mom and dad were left alone, they started screaming at each other," Vanessa murmured, so low that Candace and Stacey had to strain to hear her. "Your parents, Candace...they're _really_ that happy _all_ the time?"

31. Link

It had been three hours since she'd sent her husband downstairs to get the boys to stop playing their videogames. Convinced that he'd forgotten the task at hand, she marched right down after him...and wound up marching back up with Lawrence's ear firmly in hand, ignoring his protests that he "just had one more level to go before he could get the Master Sword".

32. Coincidental

"So your parents just got together, and they had you?" Isabella pondered on that for a moment before her face split into a wide grin. "Well, that _can't_ be just a coincidence."

33. Conclude

As the justice of the peace pronounced those final words, both knew that there would be no going back; the door was closed on each of their previous relationships, which was a bit disheartening...but still this new door, this new life, was wide open before them.

34. Estate

Even though he was still staring at those awful papers, Major Monogram couldn't help but burst out laughing, even while at the same time shaking his head in disbelief. Of course he'd initially been horrifically irritated that Agent P had convinced him to dress up as an accountant and do the Flynn-Fletchers' property taxes for them, but on further inspection of the papers..._wow!_ Who knew that an ordinary two-parent, three-child household could—it was the only explanation he could think of—could, through their _mere presence and goodwill_, cause property values to _skyrocket_ around a one-mile radius of their home?

35. Sickly

When he was in high school, Lawrence had told his guidance counselor that his career goal was to become a doctor. The counselor had just stared at him for a moment before responding that perhaps that was too lofty an aspiration for a man who usually fainted at the sight of blood.

36. Algorithm

"You know," Lawrence told his wife with an innocent smirk as Candace and her completed math homework left the room, "I didn't work such long hours in a college library for _nothing_."

37. Mature

Then, suddenly, just as Ferb was almost asleep, it hit him; the reason his father and stepmother always seemed so at ease with each other was because they were both just children at heart. But he supposed that that should have been obvious, especially considering that the two of them had ended that particular evening with a pillow fight.

38. Mystery

If there was one thing that could actually annoy Lawrence, it was that insufferable act of blurting out the end of a movie before he saw it himself. But even as he ranted and raved about this, all Linda could really do was wonder how on earth he'd managed to live so long and, until that moment, _still_ not know that Darth Vader was Luke's father.

39. Neutralize

"You're a control freak and he's a sheep," Grampa Clyde told his daughter bluntly, leaning back in his rocking chair. "Together, you cancel each other out."

40. Take

She was seriously considering putting an alarm on the cookie jar.

41. Feather

The flower pressed inside his atlas was Hers—not _hers_, but _Hers_. The feather tucked inside her high school yearbook was His—not _his_, but _His_. Someday they would fully become each other's Him and Her...or there would simply be no more capital letters, they weren't quite sure. But until they could completely let go of that past, those and other such treasures remained locked away, and by silent agreement remained mutual secrets.

42. Defiance

Never again. _Never again_ would he go against his wife's wishes. I mean, who _knew_ that when she'd said "Can you take me to the garbage dump on Saturday", she'd actually _meant_ it?

43. Base

It was the only thing Baljeet really liked about their local Little League; when you got on first base, Mr. Flynn-Fletcher would feed you crumpets, and by the time you got on third, his wife would be ready with a new batch of cookies.

44. Impression

"You see that?" the redheaded woman was saying briskly, shoving a photograph of a footprint into her daughter's face. "_That_ is a print found in the mud just outside the front door, clearly made by a size 6 'Tisdalia Pink-Sis'-brand shoe with two microscopic scratches running down the length. Your shoe, young lady, matches that print _perfectly_—and don't you go telling ME that it's 'class' evidence, that right there is '_individual_' evidence, and taken into account the fact that it did not rain until nine PM last night, the inevitable conclusion is that you did _not_ arrive home at seven-fifteen as you _claimed!_ So, what I want to know is..."

Candace's lip twitched in a combination of fear and unsurmountable rage. She was going to _kill_ Lawrence for enrolling her mother in that forensic science class.

45. Warble

For himself, he had never done very well at karaoke. Normally his wife wasn't too much better, but, oddly enough, she was always perfect with all of _Lindana's_ old songs...

46. Heading

Way back when she'd first moved out of her parents' house and had shared an apartment with her best friend, the biggest joke on their street had been a pair of signs just at the mouth of a nearby cul-de-sac: "YOU ARE HEADING DOWN 'MARRIAGE LANE'" the first sign read, and then the one right below it: "DEAD-END STREET".

47. Sophisticated

It was something that Grandpa Reg had wondered constantly the moment his son had called him up to tell him the news. How _could_ he do it? Marry an _American?_ But...but they were such SAVAGES!

48. Parasol

With a final, frustrated "UMF!", Linda just yanked a dictionary off the shelf and tossed it into her husband's lap, ignoring his protests that he thought she _knew_ "parasol" meant "umbrella".

49. Appropriate

"This is not the time."

"Yes, yes, I fully agree."

"We have to leave for that seminar in half an hour and we can't be late."

"Oh, no, of course not."

"So we're clear?"

"Absolutely."

Ten seconds later they had flopped back down onto the couch, and forty minutes later they were tumbling through the door of the conference hall, unsure exactly how to explain that their lateness had been caused an untimely tickle fight.

50. Sextuple

As for Phineas, he was happier than happy that his parents got along so phenomenally well with each other; as for Ferb, he seemed to feel much the same way, though not half so enthusiastically; and as for Candace, _she_ was dreading that (to her) inevitable day when Linda Flynn and Lawrence Fletcher would announce that they'd birthed six more baby brothers.

**~End~**


	7. Monogram And Karl

_A/N: Upon watching the episode "Swiss Family Phineas", I was rather distressed to see the name of Major Monogram's lackey spelled "Carl", whereas I've been spelling it "Karl" for about a year now. Then when the name was spelled "Karl" in the end credits of that episode, I simply became confused. Then I suddenly realized that this discrepancy actually fit in very well with what I'd already written for prompt 36 ("Name") in this set, so, once again, the day is saved thanks to pure serendipity._

_Not too much to say about this prompt, except for the fact that I love writing for these guys. So. Very. Much. XD_

_And for those not fluent in Spanish, for prompt 27 ("Cognate") try looking up the word in question in a Spanish dictionary. I promise, it's a lot funnier if you can understand that part of the joke._

**Job Satisfaction—Major Monogram and Karl**

1. Enlightening

You'd think that working for a top-secret spy organization type thing would be a really eye-opening, informative job. The sad truth is, even _they_ don't know what they're doing.

2. Praise

He'd applied for the job in hope of earning some money, to be spent on his gorgeous girlfriend...provided he could get one before the end of summer. So it was a bit of a shocker when he found out that the phrase "complimentary salary" in his contract actually _meant_ that he would be paid in _compliments_. ...Especially since the Major had never given him one.

3. Newsy

One of Major Monogram's favorite pastimes was advising Karl on what pick-up lines to use on pretty girls. The question was whether he thought they'd actually work or if he was purposely trying to sabotage his employee's love life.

4. Resources

Perry just sat there, staring blankly up at the screen while Major Monogram rattled off all the "very reliable sources" he'd gotten his latest information from. In all probability, he'd just had Karl make them all up.

5. Mortal

The man never acted his age. That's why, when he came down with that horrible flu, it surprised them both that the Major was a mere mortal after all.

6. Go Up

For all his time spent in that job, and for all his time spent searching for any possible promotions, Karl _still_ had no idea if there actually _was_ anyone else in the agency or if it was all just him and Monogram.

7. Capsule

The older man called them his "vitamins", generally popping a few into his mouth during a crisis—like when Agent P didn't pick up the phone after the first ring—and seeming noticeably invigorated afterwards. Funny brand name for a vitamin, though..._"PLACEBO"_...

8. Itching

Karl hadn't wanted much for his birthday—just a new sportscar, a black leather jacket and a throng of attractive girls who wouldn't run away screaming the moment they laid eyes on him. Instead, he got a backscratcher. And the moment he opened it, the Major bared his back to the boy and said "_Do it_."

9. Unsettling

Vanessa shuddered, a look of disgust on her face. They thought they were _so clever_ with their disguises—oh, NO, she would NEVER notice the same two guys stalking her around the mall if they kept putting on different _uniforms_ every time she turned around!

10. Dilute

The Major never drank wine. Not ever. Instead, he drank grape juice, which, oddly enough, seemed to have the same effects.

11. Decline

It was because the economy was bad, Major Monogram would insist, ranting about it for hours on end. Because of this horrible economy and the sinking stock market, nobody was applying for jobs as secret agents because they were afraid that the spy business was going under too. And Karl just sat there and wondered how high unemployment rates were in the animal kingdom.

12. Standardize

"Of COURSE they all have to wear hats! How ELSE could we tell that they're secret agents?"

13. Immorality

After he learned that his ex-wife had _not_, in fact, sent him that ugly monkey-shaped toothbrush holder, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's suspicions were raised to an all-time high. When he disassembled it and discovered that it was actually a spycam (he'd _thought_ that monkey's eyes had been oddly large and reflective), he became truly furious. Putting a camera in his _bathroom_—now THAT was just playing DIRTY! They _knew_ he made up all his best plans in there!

14. Scotch

Just as he'd been instructed, Karl explained the properties of the new Atomic Laser Phaser Crazer to Agent P, and, just as he'd been instructed, tried to draw attention away from the fact that it was held together by Scotch Tape.

15. Story

"How did this organization start, you ask?" The Major rubbed his chin thoughtfully, completely ignoring the fact that his employee had asked no such question. "Well, you see, first there were these two little chipmunks, and they had some mice friends, and a pet fly, and, see, they were called the Rescue Rangers..."

16. Hostile

The passing was tense, wide and crowded as the sidewalk was. Dr. Doofenshmirtz sneered contemptuously in their direction, to which Major Monogram just scoffed before shoving Karl in front of him like a human shield.

17. Particle

Karl's first mistake had been doing a school project during work. His _second_ mistake had been letting the Major help him. His _third_ mistake had been, while presenting this project, so vehemently defending the idea that particle physics was "an ancient series of spells crafted by Norwegian fishermen".

18. Certainty

If there was one thing Lawrence knew about that strange new family across the street—the white-haired army major and his redheaded son, though goodness knows how he'd gotten a son that _young_—it was that the two had an almost unnatural obsession with animals.

19. Gigantic

Unless you worked for or against it, the agency was the biggest secret the world had ever seen.

20. Needle

"S-sorry," the teen stammered awkwardly, hefting the four-foot-long plaster model in his hands as the platypus froze in terror. "Um, this is just a decoration...the _real_ flu shot is over there..."

21. See Also

_Entry: Monogram's Age. See: Years. ... Entry: Years. See: Timeline. ... Entry: Timeline. See: History. ... Entry: History. See: School._

After two hours, Karl finally had to give up, shutting down his computer in defeat. The Major sure knew how to keep people from getting dirt on him.

22. Importance

"Karl," the Major told him on his first day at work, "you're the only one who can do this job."

It wasn't until three months later that he realized that this was because he was the only one who'd volunteered.

23. Quid Pro Quo

Finally the staring match was over as both parties grudgingly thrust out their offerings, each one's inherent misery abated only by the act of snatching away the other's prized possession. And so they both retreated back to their desks in silence, Major Monogram snapping open the new _CosmoGirl_ magazine and Karl starting in on the plate of Jell-O.

24. Farm

"_Old MacMonogram had an agency, E-I-E-I-O! And in this agency he had a PLATYPUS, E-I-E-I-O!"_

25. Vex

Karl hadn't wanted to sit in the shopping cart—not only was it uncomfortable, it would make him look _so stupid_ in front of ALL those AVAILABLE _GIRLS_—but the Major had won him over with the promise that it was part of a top-secret mission. Until he realized that they were just spying on Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry grocery-shopping together.

26. Formality

So it actually _wasn't_ necessary for the boy to ask permission before taking bathroom breaks, but still, his employer loved to see him squirm.

27. Cognate

"_Lo see-yen-to_," Major Monogram recited awkwardly to the Hispanic woman, who looked ready to throttle him. "Uhh..._yo estoy muy embarazado_."

Karl blanched as some rather disturbing imagery popped into his head. "Um, sir? 'Embarazado' doesn't exactly mean '_embarrassed_'..."

28. Attentive

As usual, Ferb was the only one who noticed the bespectacled teen slinking around their backyard—this time dressed in a _chicken suit_. And once again he noticed that, while Chicken Boy continued his futile quest to find the family pet (Perry was currently inside, napping on the couch), that crazy old white-haired guy was hiding behind the fence, guffawing like crazy.

29. Excellence

No matter how he tried, no matter _what_ humiliation he was put through, it seemed that Karl couldn't do _anything_ right. That was, until he realized that Monogram's world essentially revolved around Monogram, and that it was a compliment of the highest degree that he was allowing Karl to stay in it.

30. Parliamentary

"...And how did you know _that_, sir?"

"The British government told me!"

"Wait, wha...no. No no _no_—"

"Exactly! It was PARLIAMENTARY, my dear Watson!"

31. Thinness

It was certainly the most awkward shopping trip he'd ever been on, having to wait for _ages_ outside the dressing room door only to be greeted by the bony, unshaven legs of his employer and that age-old question of "Do these boxers make me look fat?"

32. Unreality

Being Major Monogram's intern had been the first legitimate job Karl had ever held; it wasn't until he started working part-time at Mr. Slushy Burger that he realized just how bizarre a job experience it really was.

33. Checkerboard Design

The white-haired man furrowed his brow in annoyance at the teenager across from him. It had been _such_ a bad idea to set up temporary headquarters in the Doofenshmirtz Abandoned Board Game Factory—not only had they spent more time playing games than actually _working_, Karl kept BEATING him!

34. Trill

Agent C—Calvin the Canary—had been a lovely songbird. That was, until SOMEone accidentally left him in the same room with The Other Agent C—Clem the Cat.

35. Unruly

On a good day, the Major would come to work without pants. On a _bad_ day...

36. Name

Technically speaking, "Karl" isn't his real name; it's actually "Carl". Thing is, he misspelled it on his job application form, and since then he's just gotten used to the "K".

37. Begging

"It's NOT a date! Nononono_no!_ Only I haven't _got_ a date, 'cus...uh...'cus the girls were all intimidated by my manliness! Yeah, yeah! So, uh...can you just come an'...keep me company?"

38. Disorganized

Finally it was decided that the current system would be kept, although there _were_ currently eighteen "Agent P"s. (_Perry the Platypus, Peter the Panda, Pinky the Pooch, Pasquale the Piranha..._)

39. Shortcoming

The boy was short and ugly, stated the man. The man was tall and ugly, retorted the boy. To which the man replied huffily that at least he _was_ tall, and the argument kind of died right there.

40. Jackanapes

After a long day of painful searching and a _lot_ of embarrassing video-phone calls, the Major finally found his toupee...taped to the bottom of Karl's chair. He was going to _kill_ that boy.

41. Smear

He was _so_ jealous, so _incredibly_ jealous, and Monogram knew it; that's why he grinned so smugly, taking every available opportunity to regale his employee with the juicy details of how exactly that lipstick smudge (red rouge, no less) had gotten onto his collar. Of course he'd never admit that it was actually ketchup.

42. Harsh Sound

The wannabe ladykiller had always been convinced that he had both the sex appeal and the singing talent of Elvis Presley. So when his performance of "Every Time We Touch" earned him a Simon Cowell-esque roasting from his employer, he concluded that the Major was just jealous.

43. Water

The Major shuddered midway through his third sip. It was bad enough that he had to share a water bottle with _Karl_, of all people, but did the boy _really_ have to pick RIGHT THEN to start discussing all his medical problems?

44. Four Hundred

That's how much money Karl made during his first summer at the agency. ...Yup. A whole _four hundred cents_.

45. Neglect

Baljeet just sighed as he reluctantly accepted the twenty-fourth peace offering and, for the twenty-fourth time, walked solemnly across the street to hand it to the older gentleman, who, for the twenty-fourth time, scoffed loudly at him and turned away. And then he headed back to the teenager to start the cycle all over again. Though he knew little of the specifics of the situation, as he was just the go-between, it all seemed a _bit_ much for having forgotten one lousy birthday.

46. At Pleasure

It was times like these, Karl reflected as yet another gorgeous amazon popped a grape into his mouth, that he _loved_ how good the Major was at lying to influential people.

47. Requisition

Even if he desperately needed new equipment, Perry _hated_ calling in for it. First he'd be answered by Karl, who, stir-crazy from being cooped up at work, would babble endlessly about how happy he was that he actually had someone to _talk_ to; then Major Monogram would come on the line and get all mad about how _Karl_ had answered the phone when only the _Major_ was worth talking to, and by the time the two were finished arguing, Perry would have already gotten exactly what he needed from Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

48. Schoolmate

Candace knew that kid over there, the little dork with red hair and glasses; he'd tried asking her to this very dance and she'd socked him a good one. But now why had he come with an _old guy?_

49. Motionless

At last count, the Major had been standing there stock-still for five whole hours, never once realizing that there was _not_, in fact, a poisonous spider on his head.

50. Obvious

He wasn't sure what was different about how he said it this time—"You were the obvious choice for this job"—but for once the statement seemed truly genuine. And the boy was able to respond to it with an equally genuine smile, because, as he had only just realized, the compliment meant more to him coming from this source than from any other in the world.

**~End~**


	8. CULMINATION

_A/N: Once again, my apologies for this excessively-late chapter; I've been really busy lately (I know, that's always my excuse), but more than that, I've been severely uninspired in the field of _Phineas and Ferb_ fanfiction. This stems largely in part from the fact that most of my readers (and my fans on deviantART) only seem to care about my _Phineas and Ferb_ stuff to the exclusion of all else that I've done. So, if you've got the time, please at least check out some of my other fanfictions on this site, or, even better, my original comic series "Madness in a Box", which you can find here if you remove the spaces: _illustrious-crackpot . deviantart . com / gallery / #Madness-In-A-Box

_At any rate, this is a "culmination" chapter, since, as I've exhausted my current supply of characters (I'm nowhere near inspired enough to tackle the grandparents just yet, and I haven't yet found a satisfactory amount of information about the various Fireside Girls), I decided to revisit all the pairs I've already written before moving on to new combinations. There's an approximately equal amount of each group scattered throughout here, and I picked which "number" theme would belong to which character set via a random-number generator before I randomly-generated the theme phrases, if anyone was at all interested._

_I may or may not be putting this series on an indefinite hiatus; we shall see._

**Together Forever—CULMINATION**

1. Multiply By Eight _(Vanessa and Charlene)_

For the past eight or so generations, every woman throughout their maternal line has been born brown-haired and monotone. Translation: for the past eight or so generations in that family, mothers and daughters have driven each other _crazy_.

2. Establish _(Perry and Doofenshmirtz)_

"Okay, OKAY!" squeaked Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he lay sprawled face-down on the floor, his voice heading up another octave as Perry twisted the villain's arm even further behind his back. "You've asserted your dominance ENOUGH already!"

3. Compress _(Phineas and Ferb)_

For the past morning they had been working on compressing digital versions of all of their plans onto compact discs, and, three whole discs into the process, were barely even halfway through. And at that moment each thought it was simply _amazing_ that the other had that much data compressed in his brain.

4. Trickle _(Candace and Jeremy)_

She didn't know how it had happened, but the moment Jeremy came up behind her, the insignificant dribbles of liquid from the water fountain exploded into a roaring tidal wave, completely soaking the boy. But he just laughed it off and patted her kindly on the shoulder, after which she swore that never again would she use any water fountain besides _that_ one.

5. Wound _(Candace and Jeremy)_

Ugly as it was, Candace couldn't help but adore that little white scar on her arm; back when she'd gotten that wound by falling off her bike, _he_ had put the band-aid on it.

6. Essence _(Phineas and Ferb)_

"Hmm," stated Phineas simply, staring at the bowl his brother was holding. "Perhaps isolating the 'essence of chocolate' isn't as easy as it sounds."

7. Diminish _(Baljeet and Buford)_

Baljeet was a pretty small kid. But Buford knew _exactly_ how to make him feel even smaller.

8. Devote Oneself _(Monogram and Karl)_

Much as he knew that loyalty to an employer was extremely important to the process of getting a raise, Karl resented the fact that Monogram often referred to him as "a pawn whose sole purpose is to die for the king".

9. Crinkle _(Monogram and Karl)_

There was only one bag of Crispy Crinkle Chips left. You could cut the tension with a knife.

10. Gracious _(Candace and Jeremy)_

Stacey just stared at the two teenagers across the street, absolutely amazed. For the past ten minutes after Jeremy had taken her home from that dance, he and Candace had just been standing outside her house, trading off lengthy "thank-you"s.

11. Resilient _(Perry and Doofenshmirtz)_

Though he did occasionally feel a bizarre urge to save his nemesis from painful situations, he was generally content to let the doctor suffer such punishment on his own; no matter what happened, he knew the man would _always_ bounce back.

12. Expel _(Candace and Jeremy)_

Jeremy frowned. That was the third time this week Candace had done a spit-take when their eyes met. She was also flushing bright red around him a lot lately...he hoped she wasn't sick...

13. Disband _(Phineas and Ferb)_

Avid music-lovers (and skilled musicians) that they were, very often they felt the burning desire to reunite "Phineas and the Ferb-Tones" for good. However, staunch and honest promise-keepers that they were, they refused to compromise the group's integrity as a one-hit wonder through such blatantly selfish revivals. So instead, the following years saw the emergence of "Ferb and the Phinny-Tones", "Tone-y Phineas and Ferb", "Two Brothers With Tones Who Know How To Use Them"...

14. Repetition _(Linda and Lawrence)_

No matter how many times he repeated it, Linda just _couldn't_ get the hang of it, and told him so each time he made the attempt. But still Lawrence never lost faith in the idea that someday he would teach his wife how to properly pronounce "Worcestershire".

15. Scar _(Perry and Doofenshmirtz)_

Perry rolled his eyes. No matter _how_ many times they watched that movie, Heinz always burst into tears when the virtuous Simba sent his evil uncle tumbling to his doom.

16. Interminate _(Phineas and Ferb)_

With them, it was always summer.

17. Molt _(Baljeet and Buford)_

Frankly speaking, he didn't really _want_ to know how, in this day and age, Buford had gotten himself tarred and feathered. Nevertheless, he spent all afternoon pulling out the plumes, gaining secret pleasure from the sight of his antagonist so humiliated.

18. Fame _(Linda and Lawrence)_

Okay—sometimes she _did_ care that very few people would ever remember her as the pop star Lindana. But just one thought back to the man who loved her as Linda was enough to dispel all regret.

19. Believed _(Candace and Jeremy)_

Finally Candace trailed off, head in her hands, mortified that she had just spilled her guts about her brothers' crazy plans _again_, ranting on and on about something that no one else would _ever_ see, would _ever_ know, because all this was so ridiculous that she was obviously just crazy.

But then she found a hand on her shoulder, and his warm, comforting smile when she looked up again. "_I believe you._"

20. Abandoned _(Candace and Jeremy)_

Apparently they could never, _ever_ be alone—first Phineas and Ferb had implemented their "Candace's Televised Perfect Date!" strategy, then Suzie had followed them to the movie theater, and...now Stacey wanted to _double-date?_

21. Introductory _(Monogram and Karl)_

If only the Major had made a bigger deal about it, Karl might have actually _laughed_ at the "oh-no-you-pulled-off-my-hand" gag during their first-ever handshake. But all he'd done was stand there, staring blankly as Karl gripped the fake detached hand, then shrug and say "Well, I guess that's it then."

22. Poverty _(Monogram and Karl)_

Budget cuts were tough, even for the most seasoned secret agent dispatchers. So Major Monogram sucked it up and put on a brave face for his employee, resolving not to tell him that he had taken the bulk of the cuts from Karl's salary.

23. Niceties _(Vanessa and Charlene)_

"What dost thou wish of me, mother dearest?" intoned Vanessa dully, not even bothering to look up from the television. Obviously her mother's comment about her "lacking in etiquette" had prompted her to drag the issue out to its irritating fullest. "Shalt I anoint thy form with oils, or throw roses upon thy feet?"

24. Cream _(Linda and Lawrence)_

It had been cute when he'd used his spoon to gently scrape the stray puff of whipped cream off her cheek, until he had then proceeded to totally ruin the moment by popping it into his mouth and violently choking.

25. Fighter _(Linda and Lawrence)_

She would swear that there was never a sillier sight in this world than Lawrence Fletcher, stripped to his skivvies and drowning in gloves ten times as big as his skinny fists, facing _Grandma Betty Jo_ in the boxing ring.

26. Beaker _(Baljeet and Buford)_

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" screeched Baljeet as he bolted from the chemistry classroom, Buford in hot pursuit with a vial of mysterious liquid.

27. Contraction _(Vanessa and Charlene)_

To appease her mother, if nothing else, Vanessa would tolerate just about any topic of conversation Charlene decided to bring up. But when it came to recounting the graphic stories of her birthing process...well, _that's_ when Vanessa just had to get up and leave the room.

28. Presence _(Buford and Baljeet)_

The bully was in a complete and total panic, running frantically around the schoolyard, head snapping back and forth in search of—in search of his _sanity_. He was almost down to his last nerve when he finally spotted Baljeet sitting on the swingset, and, for reasons unknown even to him, the boy breathed a huge sigh of relief.

29. Ramify _(Linda and Lawrence)_

"Okay, so before we can all go out to dinner, one of us needs to pick up Phineas and Ferb at the Mountaintop Village Cheese Festival, and the other has to pick up Candace at the 'Valley of the Nile' clothing store," Linda informed her husband as they both walked to their cars. "If you don't mind, I'll take the high road and you take the low road."

She couldn't help but smile as Lawrence finished with the inevitable, badly-warbled _"And I'll get to Scotland afore ye!"_

30. Moneybags _(Candace and Jeremy)_

Jeremy blinked, a little surprised. That girl certainly took her _Monopoly_ seriously.

31. Recreant _(Perry and Doofenshmirtz)_

It was one of the only times the platypus was actually _terrified_ of his enemy, scampering wildly about from hiding place to hiding place in unspeakable horror of what might happen if the man caught up to him. But who could blame him? Dr. Doofenshmirtz was trying to _give him a bath!_

32. Wayward _(Vanessa and Charlene)_

Each night it seemed that Vanessa came home later and later, snapping violently whenever asked for an explanation and storming off to her bedroom. And her mother would just drop herself into her armchair and feel herself filled with an overwhelming terror as she began to pray fervently that the day would never arrive that Vanessa didn't come home at all.

33. Battlefield _(Linda and Lawrence)_

When they'd first moved into the house, they'd agreed that they'd alternate the chore of organizing the bills from month to month. Unfortunately, _he_ organized them in alphabetical order while _she_ organized them in order of importance, so every month each would be forced to completely reshuffle the other's previous piles into the order of their own liking, a point which, though bitterly seethed over, they never seemed to discuss with one another...

34. Pest _(Vanessa and Charlene)_

It didn't take much to get either of them fed up with the other. But still, they were always together again by the end of the day.

35. Formulate _(Phineas and Ferb)_

Coming up with a plan was easy. Coming up with a _perfect_ plan was harder—but ultimately more fun.

36. Tight _(Perry and Doofenshmirtz)_

"Oh, me and Perry the Platypus?" Heinz breezed as he held up his hand, displaying two crossed fingers. "We're like _that._"

And all the other supervillains at his table just stared at him weirdly.

37. Sordid _(Monogram and Karl)_

It wasn't that Major Monogram didn't like the boy. Really, he did. The only problem was that he was so..._revolting_.

38. Liable _(Baljeet and Buford)_

All of a sudden, Buford pulled a stack of papers out of his pocket, pushing a pair of horn-rimmed glasses up his nose as his victim stared bemusedly up at him. "I hope yer insurance c'n cover this."

39. Respectable _(Linda and Lawrence)_

Since they didn't get invited to many big formal occasions, every so often they'd spend an entire day in their fancy dress clothes, just as an excuse to use them.

40. Accusation _(Vanessa and Charlene)_

When Vanessa called her mother and said that she was at the police station, Charlene completely flipped her lid. She was already in her car and zooming towards the building before Vanessa could finish her sentence—and so she was simultaneously shocked and relieved that her daughter was there for _the policeman's ball._

41. Similar _(Baljeet and Buford)_

"We ain't _nothin'_ alike," insisted Buford angrily, his fists already dangerously close to Baljeet's face...but that _still_ didn't change the fact that he was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt and blue denim overalls.

42. Opposition _(Perry and Doofenshmirtz)_

It didn't even matter if he ever threw a punch, or so much as glared in his enemy's direction; just so long as he knew his enemy was _there_, that he _had_ an enemy, was enough to fill the little platypus with a calm satisfaction.

43. Submission _(Baljeet and Buford)_

Not that he would ever admit it, but he _hated_ when the boy gave in too easily. That's why, the more the timid one tried to appease him, the more threats and insults he would toss back, trying desperately to get the rise out of the boy that he desperately craved.

44. Friend _(Vanessa and Charlene)_

Charlene didn't know any of Vanessa's friends. And if Vanessa had anything to say about it, it was going to _stay_ that way.

45. Roughness _(Monogram and Karl)_

Major Monogram spent the rest of the day wheezing and groaning, unable to sit down or even _stand_ without flinching in unimaginable pain. That was the _absolute last time_ he asked Karl to be his masseuse.

46. Bloody _(Phineas and Ferb)_

Shocked beyond belief at seeing his normally-stoic brother so hysterical, actually shedding _tears_, Phineas dropped the charade instantly, leaping up and wrapping his ketchup-soaked arms around the green-haired boy, promising fervently that never again would he _ever_ fake his own death, even for an April Fools prank.

47. Settle _(Phineas and Ferb)_

"So, imagine we got married someday," Isabella began hurriedly, rushing to finish her question before Phineas had time to realize the implication, "would you want to live in a big house or a small house?"

The redheaded boy blinked, cocking his head. "A big house, I guess," he replied. "I mean, we'd have to have room for Ferb, wouldn't we?"

48. Guardianship _(Monogram and Karl)_

Karl sweated heavily under the penetrating gaze of the school principal, who was looking over both himself and the obliviously-grinning Major with a sharpness generally reserved for airline security officers. If only he'd just told his parents about the principal's summons..._aaaargh_, WHY had he let Major Monogram pretend to be his father??

49. Prevail _(Perry and Doofenshmirtz)_

His base was in ruins, his robots had been destroyed, and still the lanky man stood there staring up at the sky, even a full hour after his nemesis had departed. Then suddenly his spine snapped straight, and he shook his fists vigorously. "Well, NUTS TO YOU, Perry the Platypus! I won in SPIRIT!"

50. Paste _(OVERALL)_

Be they each rubber or glue, no matter how much bouncing around occurs beforehand, they'll all stick together in the end. And that's the truth.

**~End~**


End file.
